Monday, October 29, 2007
The bf seemed to be a weird mood last night. A good weird though. After our drive back to Pittsburgh from DC we stayed at his place so we could watch the movie "300"*amazing by the way*, Desperate Housewives, and Brothers & Sisters. I know I know. But we are gay so its ok. He was just in a big cuddly warm mood. I love when he gets like that. I am all about being romantic and lovey and stuff. Its just me. He however is not really like that. So when he is, I get excited and it makes my day.
So after I left his place to go back to mine I just thought about how lucky I a really am for finding someone. I read peoples blogs that are trying to find someone, and it just makes me feel so fortunate. The past 4 months have made me develop some serious feelings for him. I know at this point I would love to wake up next to him every morning and fall asleep with him every night. I want to be the person that makes him happy and laugh.
I am falling in love.
So. My weekend in DC went pretty well. Normal weekend overall. Dressed up in my referee costume on Friday.*Ill post pics in the next few days!* Went to a party where they had the strongest jungle juice I have ever had. Proceeded to go to Apez, the DC gay club. Good times. The manager of the club apparently is from Pittsburgh and somehow found out we were all from the Burgh. He gave us all a free shot of Tequila. This was the beginning of the end for me. I knocked back the liquid death and searched around for the nearest chaser. My RedBull vodka was the only thing I could find. Whatev, it worked. I didnt puke. Well not yet anyway. I almost must inform you that we were the ONLY ones in costume in this club. Apparently not very many people like to get in costume for halloween. Thank god our costumes screamed SEX. Otherwise I am sure we would have got weird stares.
It wasnt until I got back to our hotel that things started not to work in my favor. I walked in the door and unleashed my fury in the bathroom. I puked up all that nights activities. Jungle Juice, Rum & Coke, RebBull Vodka, and of course, the loved Tequila. Which is now on my hate list. I hate puking up liqour. It burns like the flames from hell. So me mixed with puking, being drunk, tired, and in a bad mood, for some reason all those things made me cry. I have no idea why. I hate showing that emotion in front of other people. My bf was there to hold my hair as I hurled up my alcohol. Luckily my hair is short so there is nothing to really hold onto. But he rubbed my back and continued to be a good bf. As much as I hate having someone eatch me puke, its always nice to have someone there still.
This is turning out to be a long post. Sorry.
The next day we went to DuPont Circle. Nothing to exciting. I could eat lunch or drink anything but water. My stomach was still up in arms over the endurance test I put it through the night before. Went to the gym in the hotel, yacked immediatly following. I knew that was going to happen but I had no choice but to workout. I was going to be wearing basically next to nothing for tonights costume. My wrestling singlet was so short my butt kept falling out of it. Eew. I know. But I have a nice booty so it wasnt too bad. I froze my ass off all night at the party. My group of friends costumes were as follows: Wrestler *Me!, Robin from batman and robin*the bf, a pirate, a sailor, and a fambloyant soldier. Fun Fun. My favorite costume at the party at our friends rooftop penthouse, was a man dressed in a muslim womans bourka. Yeah not too funny yet. Well he would lift up the bourka though he was wearing some really sexy womans underwear a garter belt fishnet stalkings and heels. What was he you ask? A Muslim prostitute. He kept walking around making those noises the terrorist people made after 9/11. Remember. Funny stuff. So naturally some really funny and completly inappropriate pictures were taken. Ex. Muslim prostitue giving head to a soldier. Muslim prostiture being shot my soldier execution style, etc, etc.
Night ended. I was freezing. The bf and I went back to the hotel alone! I thought we were going to have the place to ourselves. So we did what two gay men that are dating normally do. Until one of our friends walked in. In mid thrust, and my bfs legs in the air, we stopped. My friend was so drunk he didnt even realize what was happening. Fun.
That is my weekend in DC. Cant wait to go back again in two weeks!
And bloggers spellcheck isnt working so I am assuming I misspelled alot of words and now cant fix them. Ahwell.
Monday, October 22, 2007
So moving on to the insults portion of this post. I was warned by my boyfriend that one of his friends who I havent met yet, will probably test my buttons to see how I will react to their comments. Well I finally met them Saturday night and needless to say she pushed the wrong buttons. Its one thing to be funny and say smart ass comments. I can handle that. But when someone insults me, its not acceptable. So this girl said many things to me that made me upset. Not only did she say I am weird and dance weird *no one insults my dancing!*, but she said that my boyfriend can do better than me! Yeah I know! She is obviously a bitch. So she said those things and I was waiting for a smile or a laugh from her, and I got nothing. Actually, right after she said those things she just walked away. I was stunned and pissed. So on the way back home, I told the bf what had occurred and he proceeded to defend her!
I was quite hurt that he would do that. Now I didnt tell him everything she had said to me, because the statement that he could do better than me really hit my heart for some reason. So I left that out. So he continued to defend her and actually started to back up his defense by talking about how my brothers were tackling him while we were playing basketball. Stupid I know! Long story short he kept on asking me what other stuff what said and I told him. I think he felt bad after that, and assured me he doesnt feel that way and apologized. By that point I was already over the situation. But I knew he felt bad. Thats all that matters to me.
I am writing this post from Milwaukee, WI. Its not so bad here. I went downtown for dinner at a place called Kil@Wat. It was really amazing. It was very trendy and fun. Food was amazing. If you are ever in Milwaukee, check it out. It still sucks to be alone in a different city though. Eating alone and sleeping in a big bed alone really reminds you that you are by yourself. Ugh.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Kentucky wasn't nearly as bad as I envisioned. I was about two blocks away from the University of Kentucky so I always had nice eye candy to look at. Within two miles was a huge mall and all types of restaurants. Cant complain much about my stay there. They actually have better radio stations there than they do in Pittsburgh.
Now, moving on with what the title of this post has to do with. Tomorrow I am driving up north to see my parents. No big deal. EXCEPT I am bringing the bf with me. I told my mom I was bringing him a few days ago. I prefaced that with telling her that we are sort of looking for a place together too*which by the way isn't happening for a while because of money problems*. So once I told her we were looking to move in with one another I told her I was bringing him with me to see them. There was silence for about 10 seconds and she replied "So you must really like him then?" I of course said I do and that's why I want them to meet him. I told her she needs to make us her world famous french toast for brunch. She agreed. Fun Fun Fun. This is the first time I am letting them meet someone while we are both acknowledging he is my boyfriend. This is very exciting to me.
It is not as exciting for my boy though. He is extremely nervous. I assured him that it will be no different then meeting a friends parents, but I can still sort of understand his anxiety. I haven't seen my parents since the beginning of July. I have never gone that long without seeing them. I really miss them and I cant wait to meet the person who is making my life happy now.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Higher State of Consciousness (TV Rock & Dirty South Remix)
3. JJ Flores & Steve Smooth
Deep Inside These Walls **This is a very HOT video if you like looking at sexy women like I do!
4. Alex Gaudino feat. Crystal Waters
The bf really wants me to move out of my apt. He hates my roommate almost as much as I do. He hates the 4 cats that she owns and the fact that they shed all over my stuff. So he is always looking for new places around Pittsburgh. He knows I cant afford anywhere by myself and that I need a roommate. We both agreed that we would wait a year before we would consider moving in together. However, it appears he has changed his mind because he said that we should look for a place together cause "there is no point beating around the bush." Well I cannot agree more. I think we are very good together and we both want this for the long term. He found this amazing loft in a very trendy part of Pittsburgh that is very fitting for us. I really look forward to see how soon this happens. We are both a little strapped for cash at the moment, cause he just bought a new car, and my brother borrowed alot of money from me. But its exciting to think about starting a life with him, his ferrets, and a dog that want to buy once we move.
Friday, October 12, 2007
The Good News....Two of my best friends from Erie, PA *my old home, will be coming down to visit me this weekend. They are a young gay couple whom I met at work. *Hint: For those that like trivia, it is the second largest company in the US. Good Luck* I will be showing them the hot spots around Pittsburgh. They are far and few between but I know where to go. On another high note, my little sister who started college this year in South Carolina will be coming to Pittsburgh this weekend as well. Yay for me!
The bad news....I am in Kentucky all next week so I wont be able to blog as much cause I actually have to do work while I am there. Then after next week I am in Milwaukee for that whole week. Stinkers, I know. So blogging will not happen as frequent for a while, but I will still drop by at night and post a little something from my hotel.
Have a good Weekend Peeps!
So I figured for fun I thought I would ask everyone who reads this to tell me where you are from, how old you are, and any additional info about you as well.
I explained to him that he is just having trouble moving on and told him that I would not ever go back to him and that he has nothing to worry about. I can definitely understand why he would be upset and so I am going to tell my ex to back off a bit because I dont want him to put a strain on my current relationship. Its not fair to my current bf or to myself.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Recently the bf and I went on the search for nothing other than some good ol' lube. I had probably the worst type of lubricant known to man. Equate Lubrication purchased from Wal Mart for the bargain price of 4 dollars. I didnt care what I bought when I purchased that because thats when I wasnt having sex anyways, so I didnt care. It was clumpy, thick, and sticky as all hell. So as I said we needed to go shopping. And shopping at no other than the amazing porn store. Best selection of lube ever! I went initially wanting a spray-on lube to help with the messiness of getting it on your hands and other places. After talking with a very knowledgeable worker on the ins and outs of lube I quickly changed my preference. I was informed that silicone based is the best because it allows you to use it in water. Holler! The Bf wanted the brand Wet. That is what he uses and its just so-so. They have a platinum version of the lube though. He talked me into getting it. $15 for a tiny bottle. I guess I never really knew the prices of good lube cause I was shocked at the price tag. Needless to say, it is a-m-a-z-i-n-g!!! I dont know how to describe it, but it is unlike any other lube I have tested. The best part is, is that you dont need to use much at all. A few drops here and there and you can have 2 minutes of pure ecstasy.
For all those on the market for some lubrication I highly suggest it.
I do however want to tell my workmate. We have really bonded over the past few months. We both hate our job and want to quit pretty soon. He tells me everything that is going on in his life and I have to makeup stuff about stuff that is going on in mine. Its not fair to him or myself to continue to not tell the truth. He is very religious, but I think he would still be accepting. I just wish people would ask me if I am gay. It would make this coming out thing so much easier. But I guess my burly man image just hides it to well.*I wish that were true
So in the meantime I guess this is where I can urge others to take the plunge that I have yet to take. So go ahead, tell the world you're gay, and in about 8 months wear nothing but a rainbow speedo on a float and celebrate your outness at Gay Pride!
Just a little FYI for the heritage of National Coming Out Day:
National Coming Out Day was founded by Robert Eichberg and Jean O'Leary on October 11, 1988 in celebration of the first gay march on Washington D.C. a year earlier. The purpose of the march and of National Coming Out Day is to promote government and public awareness of gay, bisexual, lesbian and transgender rights and to celebrate homosexuality.
Now go spread the word of the gay.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Is my hair still brown? Yes
What type of shoes am I wearing? Diesel
When was the last time I had sex? Sunday....Twice
What is my favorite day of the week? Friday
Do I trim? *Wasnt sure about what exactly she meant about this one, but I said yes anyways.
Am I in love? On my way there
Am I a pitcher or a catcher? Prefer to pitch but can catch on occasion
Favorite fast food place? McDonalds
Do I still want to have sex with my friend who asked me all these questions? Always and forever!
Well now all of you know a little more about me.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
Since she already knows, I should just say one day on the phone, "Hey Gurl, I have a new boyfriend. And we have been dating for almost 4 months." And just be silent. Well, maybe leave the hey gurl part out. I hope sometime soon I can start to be open with all of my life, and not just the boring stuff.
It was way too crowded. It was the Bfs first time at the zoo so I wanted him to really enjoy it. It was hard when we couldn't get to the viewing windows because there were so many people. It doesn't help that he is a little on the short side too therefore he couldn't even see over peoples heads like I can. Not only was it crowded, but it was HOT as hell. It didn't help that I was wearing a new black t-shirt from Andrew Christian. I also bought a nice fun jockstrap. Sorry. I digress. The aquarium portion of the zoo was the most crowded. Way too crowded for the fish as well. I just knew the fish were laughing, because as ironic as it was, we looked like sardines smashed in a can. The fish loved it. We did not.
See what I mean. Free Doesn't always Mean Good.
I actually didn't want to end the post so abruptly, but I lost the desire to continue to keep writing.
I am glad this was something that we both agreed could be easily fixed. I agreed to not pick things apart and try to keep negative comments to myself when it comes to food. He still feels uneasy about making any decisions which I am trying to change. There was no yelling, actually me being very quiet and not saying much consumed most of the time. It also helped that I was drunk because it gave me the opportunity to bring up a few other things that were bothering me. Such as him making plans to hang out with me, then sort of ditching me. Whatev, no big deal though. So after all that conversing about me being to picky, we had great sex. Probably the best so far. I was happy. He was happy too. We slept happily ever after.
***Note. Picky Paula originates from a cute little thing the Bf and I do. Instead of just calling the other grouchy, crabby, mean, or smelly, we attach people names to them to make it that much more fun. So there is Horny Harrison, Silly Sally, Demanding Deborah, Tired Timmy, and of course Picky Paula.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
I talked to the bf this morning about it when he called me because there was a rock slide and he was going to be about an hour late for work. He knows I rarely get a full nights sleep and suggests that I get some sort of medication to help. My mind just runs as soon as my head hits the pillow. I cant stop from thinking about really anything from the bf, family, work, fisting. Well maybe not fisting. I have really tried many remedies that I have read online. I tried breathing techniques, reading, listening to music, and nothing works. It sucks because I am tired all damn day but as soon as its time for me to sleep I am wide awake.
I need some damn sleep.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Monday, October 1, 2007
So I am going to start my protein shakes today and my vitamens. I plan to workout at least 4 days a week. Hopefully I can accomplish my goal. I can build muscle pretty easily so I hope I can get the results I want.
Not only do I want to be more healthy, but I want to be more positive. I have found myself complaining and bitching way too much. I am going to attempt to let things go and try to not let things get to me as much. Being negative isnt very fun.
Wish me luck!
Moving on. My wonderful boyfriend and I had another great weekend together. However there were some instances where I felt uneasy about a few things. First things first. Saturday night was a boardgame night with all my gays and myself. Its nice to stay in every so often and skip the bar scene. So at a sex toy party a few months ago, I bought a game called Who's the Biggest Pervert. It was definitely a fun game to play, but when you have your current boyfriend with you and your boyfriends ex there, things come out that you dont want to hear.
My boyfriends ex is also his best friend, which I don't feel any jealousy or anything and he has assured me that nothing would ever happen between the two of them again. So I am completely fine with their current relationship. However while we were playing this game, the ex would tell stories about their past sex life. And not just any regular sex stories, but wild and crazy sort of sex stories. At this point I felt completely uncomfortable. I am not sure if it was jealousy or what but I know I dont want to hear about stuff like that. It sucks cause it was my fault it was brought up anyways because I brought the game.
The other problem I am having is that my boyfriend tells me horrible things have happened in his life. These things have effected him so much that he has lost that sense of sad emotion causing him to lose the ability to cry. Curious about this, I brought it up and he said he doesnt like to talk about it cause it makes him depressed. So I am not sure if it is me being selfish or not, but I still would like to know what happened to him only because maybe I can get a better understanding of why he acts certain ways or handles certain situations. I have opened up about much of my life and certainly I have had some pretty bad things happen in my life as well. But I feel that if i want to fall in love with someone I want to know all about them. I know I dont want to push the subject, so hopefully he will decide to open up a little more cause I am really falling for him.