Monday, March 29, 2010

Ricky Martin's Coming Out Letter

He finally announced today what the world already knew. He sure did it eloquently though. His letter posted on his website is below.
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A few months ago I decided to write my memoirs, a project I knew was going to bring me closer to an amazing turning point in my life. From the moment I wrote the first phrase I was sure the book was the tool that was going to help me free myself from things I was carrying within me for a long time. Things that were too heavy for me to keep inside. Writing this account of my life, I got very close to my truth. And this is something worth celebrating.

For many years, there has been only one place where I am in touch with my emotions fearlessly and that's the stage. Being on stage fills my soul in many ways, almost completely. It's my vice. The music, the lights and the roar of the audience are elements that make me feel capable of anything. This rush of adrenaline is incredibly addictive. I don't ever want to stop feeling these emotions. But it is serenity that brings me to where I'm at right now. An amazing emotional place of comprehension, reflection and enlightenment. At this moment I'm feeling the same freedom I usually feel only on stage, without a doubt, I need to share.

Many people told me: "Ricky it's not important", "it's not worth it", "all the years you've worked and everything you've built will collapse", "many people in the world are not ready to accept your truth, your reality, your nature". Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided to move on with my life not sharing with the world my entire truth. Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage. Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions.

If someone asked me today, "Ricky, what are you afraid of?" I would answer "the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war...child slavery, terrorism...the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith." But fear of my truth? Not at all! On the contrary, It fills me with strength and courage. This is just what I need especially now that I am the father of two beautiful boys that are so full of light and who with their outlook teach me new things every day. To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with. Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen 5 or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment.

These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed.

What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment. The word "happiness" takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

-RM
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As they say, the truth shall set you free...Welcome to the club rockstar!

SGF: Othello

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Song of the Second

The song comes from one of my all time favorite albums. I mentioned it on here maybe a year or so ago. The band is called Angels and Airwaves. The album is I-Empire and I literally love every song that is on it. This song is called Rite of Spring and the lyrics are quite powerful. The chorus lyrics really speak to me...

If I had a chance for another try,
I wouldn’t change a thing
It's made me all of who I am inside
And if I could thank god
That I am here, and that I am alive
And everyday I wake
I tell myself a little harmless lie
The whole wide world is mine

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Life Check


After receiving the bad news of not getting the new job, I was pretty devastated. I kept it cool for the most part and put on my smiley face for everyone, but inside I couldnt have been more broken up. I hated talking about it, and it seemed as though thats all everyone around me wanted to talk about.

Its now been a week since I got the bad news, and I have had lots of time to reflect on everything. I am in a much different mind frame to say the least. As much as I wanted the job and the new house. I am content for the time being with my current job and my current residence. And the fact that I do have a job and do have a roof over my head makes me grateful.

I am also grateful that I have health insurance....My nice segway into the healthcare reform debate. Well, it passed, and honestly, I think this is the beginning of something good. Do I think this is a perfect bill, with absolutely grand outcomes for all of America, No. However, I think it is something we can build on and fix things along the way. You cant reform something as large as the entire Healthcare industry and please everyone. The more I read about it and inform myself of the facts and am able to dig through both the democratic and republican smut, here is what I can conclude in an extremely generalized fashion. This bill is going to give people healthcare that didnt have it before. I think good healthcare is something that everyone should. It shouldnt be a luxury for Americans. If I have to pay a little more in taxes, and have a little more taken out of my paycheck so that people who live down the street for me who cant afford the high cost of health insurance, why not.

The Golden Rule applies as usually does, and when i was without insurance for several years, I wish someone would have come to me and offered to help me out. Especially when I got sick and had medical issues, and got bills in the mail that made me sick to my stomach. I was in college and had no insurance and because of preexisting conditions, my premiums were too high for me to afford. But apparently some people think that is ok. Some people think, Ive got health insurance, who cares if you do. And its a shame. Its also a shame that scare tactics and outright lies were spread in order to create a backlash. But that is the type of government we have. This makes me feel as though we are just like every other government in the world.

And thats my rant.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Waiting Game is Over


Well I finally heard back regarding the job. And it is now official that I didn't get it. :( This upsets me greatly as I was led on to believe that I had in fact basically got the job. Luckily, I never told my current boss that I was leaving. Apparently, this company had decided to reorganize this particular group and instead of filling the role I interviewed for, they were going to shuffle some things around internally so that they could save the money on hiring someone else. This really pisses me of. After 3 interviews and a full day worth of testing, they tell me afterwards, that they no longer need someone to fill this role. Wonderful! I really didn't want those vacation days anyways that I had to use. Not!

So the house hunting is being postponed until further notice as is getting a dog. :( I was really looking forward to both of those things too. So I guess it is back to the job search for now. Hopefully, something will come around soon.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Stressin

I have been a little stressed as of late. The bf and I have been looking to buy a new house and have working with our real estate agent for the past few weeks to find “The One”. We have has a few pitfalls starting from the beginning. It seemed as though as soon as we found a house we liked, someone else snatched it up before we could make an offer. And the one time we made an offer on a house, someone else made a much higher offer, so we lost it. We have also raised the amount of money we initially wanted to spend on a house by quite a bit. Actually like 1/3 higher because we realized we wouldn’t find want we want in the price range we initially were looking at. However, we are going to look at 3 more houses today and I am thinking we may have found “The One”. And as luck would have it, it is at the very top of our price range with even higher taxes. But I guess we will need to start making some financial sacrifices to get what we want.

All of this would probably be fine and dandy, with me getting a new job and all, except for the fact that I haven’t heard anything back at all from the new job in over a week. On Friday I called to get status on what was going on, no one answered so I left a voicemail to call me back. No one did. So I yesterday I sent an email, and I have yet to hear back. Because of this, I am pissed, and quite disappointed. I am pissed because they don’t have the decency to get a hold of me to let me know if I am no longer in the running to get the job or not when they led me on to think that I actually had it. And of course I am sad because I really wanted it, and even more wanted to get the hell out of my current job. In light of this, my income will not be getting higher, which was factored into the whole house buying thing. It was agreed upon that the bf and I would split the cost of everything 50/50, however, since I do not have the new job anymore, I simply cannot afford to pay for half of everything. It’s quite depressing.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Sassy Gay Friend - The Sequel!!!

Videos, videos, everywhere, with no posts to read. Yeah yeah, I know. Works been crazily busy as has been house hunting and party planning. I'll catch everyone up this week. Until then, watch Sassy Gay Friend 2!