Friday, September 28, 2007

Songs of the Second




-Relax, Take it Easy

3.Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

-Your Guardian Angel

4.Fergie Feat. Sean Kingston

-Big Girls Dont Cry (Remix)

5.DJ Tiesto

-Lethal Industry

Random Thought

I need to find a good eye cream because I think I am starting to form bags under my eyes. That shouldn't be happening when you're only 22. Any suggestions?


My psycho brother asked me to babysit his 3 year old son. Naturally having the motherly instincts that I have, I was thrilled to watch the little shit. So my brother dropped him off at my apt which I have now realized is not at all kid friendly. With two spiral staircases, hardwood floors, and 4 cats, this could have been a disaster. Everything went well. He calls me Uncle Jeffy, so how can you not love that. I took him grocery shopping with me at the most expensive and ghetto Giant Eagle I have ever been to. While loading him into my car, he was extremely excited yelling "race car race car!", and apparently he had never seen a sunroof before cause he didnt once take his eyes off of it. Now at this Giant Eagle everything was almost twice the price then WalMart. So I will continue to make the 20 minute drive to shop at America's favorite store. He was good for the most part, only begging for me to buy him Shrek cereal, which turned out to be a good buy anyways cause it is pretty damn good.

After shopping, I thought we would go for a walk around the North Shore along the river so he can see the city and the fountain at The Point. He would randomly sit on the sidewalk, Indian style *criss-crossed is the new term, and pull me down next to him and put his head on my arm. Can he be any cuter! He saw some ducks and immediately started quacking scaring them all away. He didnt want to leave putting up a good fight trying to stay but I was hungry and wanted some Shrek cereal.

The rest of the night went pretty well. The season premiere of Grey's Anatomy was on, and I am addicted so I attempted to watch that as he played with his cars on the floor. He is very well behaved and I am very thankful for that.

Overall it was a great experience for me. I know that I would need to keep a stock of RedBulls around because I dont have the energy to keep up with kids. I think I need another 5 years before I really consider becoming a dad.

The Pain of PRK

As I posted before, I finally had my LASIK surgery. It went well. No need to describe the surgery, you can look it up. It was short and basically not painful. However, the days to come were not what I were expecting. The morning after the surgery was horrible. I was by myself missing a glorious day of work which my boss was not too happy about. So as soon as I wake up I feel my eyes that have a burning unlike anything I can describe. It feels as though someone is pouring acid over them. I cannot open either of them and tears are just pouring down my face. Not because I was crying, but because the pain was so intense. I was blind. I was blind for about 3 hours where I couldn't open my eyes to see anything. I couldn't see anything to take my Vicodin pills or any of my 4 eye drops. I was miserable. I finally found my pills by waving my hands in the air until I so luckily bumped into them on my desk. I fell asleep and woke up 4 hours later and my eyes felt ten times better. I could open them up and walk around. This seemed to be the routine for the next few days. My eyes would be caught lit on fire from God every morning, **His way punishing my homo ways, and a few hours later I would be fine.

All this led up to a miserable Monday. I flew to San Antonio for the week for work. Everything seemed to have been going well. I felt a slight annoyance in my left eye but ignored and figured it was nothing. It was during dinner on the famous Riverwalk that my eye was in full blown distress. It was all puffy, I couldnt open it up, and once again tears running down my face. Now, what seemed to be icing on the cake or me was not that my eyes were killing me, but where we were eating. I had the pleasure of dining at a place called Dick's Last Resort. This is a place where the waiters, hosts, and cooks are all mean to you. This is not my type of restaurant. I think it stems back to me being made fun of in middle school for being the poor kid who didnt wear cool clothes. So needless to say I was in a ton a pain, and I am being made fun of cause my eye is gross. Not fun!

The only positive thing that came out of my eye being nasty and hurting, was that I got to fly back home the next day and do nothing but sleep for the next two days straight. It was heaven. And now my eye feels ten times better and I am still happy I got the surgery done.

So my advice to anyone getting the surgery is make sure you have someone to take care of you for at least 3 days. Cause if you dont, it sucks!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Guide to Gay Bar Behavior for Straight Girls

First let me say that I did not come up with this. I dont think that I am that witty enough to do so. With that said, enjoy!
A topic that keeps popping up lately in our social network is the question of straight girls in gay bars. It's been discussed on DC Urban Family and has been a part of many recent conversations among Team Lady.

Let me preface this entire conversation though by saying there are actually a good number of straight girls that I LOVE to have in my bar. They are the ones who are laid back and chill. They know how to behave and have a good time without making a spectacle of themselves. The girls from the Urban Family are a perfect example. And Team Lady's favorite girl "Prada" can constantly be found by our side.

I don't have a problem with straight girls.That being said.... just like Pavlov's dog, experience has taught me to react poorly when I see a straight girl walk up to the bar (or worse a group of them). I have had enough bad experiences that immediately I begin to cringe a little inside thinking of all the possible things that could face me for the evening.

So to help build a bridge of understanding I'd like to offer Mr. Bartenders Guide to Gay Bar Behavior for Straight Girls:

We are not here for your entertainment:
You are not going to the circus or the zoo - the gay boys are not a spectacle or a novelty here for your entertainment. If you see two boys flirting or kissing, please do not point and/or laugh. If you want to go to a gay bar to be entertained by the fags - please just stay home. One time I was out at JRs and this girl insisted on going into the guy's restroom because she wanted "to see what you boys do in there". You know what I do in a bathroom? I pee. Shocking I know...

Do not expect special treatment:
I know that you are daddy's little princess, but here you're out ranked by a bar full of queens. Lose the attitude. Oh and stop flaunting your breasts, they don't work here. Do not use them to try and score free drinks from either the bartender or the other customers. Oh and since you're now buying your own drinks - remember to tip, it's rude not to.

Do not try to play matchmaker:
Yes I know that you have a hot friend who is gay, but that does not mean he's right for every cute guy you see out at the gay bar. Gay attraction is more complex than gay man + gay man = perfect match. Gay men can be quite finicky bitches when it comes to dating and unless your gay friend ASKS you to approach a guy on his behalf, don't even think about it. In fact, if he does ask you to do it I'd caution him against it. Personally I'm much more likely to talk to a guy who has the balls to come over to me himself instead of sending someone in to break the ice.

Be aware of space limitations:
Bars tend to get quite packed & crowded on busy nights, gay bars are no exception. Sure our bars may play better music but if you're not on the dance floor - don't dance. No one wants you bumping into them and spilling their cocktail. And trust me, if I have to watch you mimicking the latest slutty-teen-pop-superstar I'm gonna need all the booze I can get. Take it to the dance floor, if there's no dance floor- don't dance. Oh and if you know you're going to a crowded bar, leave your supersized purse at home. No one wants to keep getting hit with that thing every time you turn around.

Don't be homophobic:
Yes I know this one should be a no brainer, but sadly it's not. I can understand how you may get upset with a someone at the bar. I know for a fact that some gay men can be complete dicks and deserve a good ol' insult hurled their way. But please do not resort to calling someone a fag. There are plenty of other insults at your disposal - you do not need to chose the cheap and easy route that will inevitably piss off all the other guys at the bar. Also if someone assumes you're a lesbian or you get hit on by a girl, don't get all offended. Oh and please do not make it a point to inform everyone that you are not a lesbian. Really we don't care, if we do - we'll ask.

Flirt with the gay boys wisely:
Remember there's a difference between someone flirting and someone just being a dumb ass. I'm always up for someone throwing a compliment my way even if its from someone I have no interest in. I appreciate it if you tell me I have beautiful eyes, or a good smile - to that I say thank you. I will take that compliment. I do not appreciate you asking me "are you sure you're gay???" because yes I am sure - I am very gay, I have references. Or worse yet "what? you're gay? that's such a shame" - no it's not a shame and it's not a waste, I love being gay. Hell it prevents me from dating girls who would say stupid comments like that!

Get out of your head voice:
There is nothing more annoying to me when bartending than that one high and shrill voice that carries through the din of drunken conversations and loud music and pierces right through my ear. If your speaking voice is like Janice from Friends you need to take it down a couple notches (or a hundred). Remember you vocal cords are in your throat, not your head.

Above all, relax and don't be obnoxious:
I understand how sometimes it's fun for you to escape getting hit on by straight men and just want to let your hair down and have fun. That's great. But not having to impress a straight guy does not excuse you from having to behave yourself. Out of control drunks are annoying, even more so when they don't have a penis and you can't take advantage of their intoxicated state. Ladies, we love having you at our bar, but please just be laid back, chill and fun. No one wants to have to babysit the straight girl when we're trying to get laid...

Monday, September 17, 2007

Photorefractive Keratectomy

Yep. Its final, I get my laser eye surgery on Friday! I didnt qualify for the regular LASIK though. Apparently my corneas are very thin, so I have to get PRK treatment. The plus side to this is that they dont need to use a knife to cut the cornea off my eye, instead it is all done using lasers. However, it is usually a little more painful surprisingly and recovery time is longer. It is setting me back a couple grand, but either way, I dont have to wear glasses or contacts much longer!

Friday, September 14, 2007

White House Here I Come

This weekend I am going to Washington DC with the bf and his group of friends. I have only been their once a little more than a year ago with my ex. We were driving to Florida for a vacation so we decided to stop. I am really looking forward to going this time though. We are mainly going because the #1 DJ in the world will be there. DJ Tiesto will be performing at LOVE Nightclub on Saturday. So Friday night we plan on gaying it up a bit at the non-heterosexual bars since Saturday night will be spent at the straight bars.

Another reason why I am excited to go to DC is the face that I get to see probably my favorite fag hags **I guess we are calling them fruit flies nowadays. She lives in DC and is one of the most energetic people I have ever met. She wakes up screaming and bubbly. It is a bit much sometimes, but she can always bring a little energy to a lame party. And she is fun to dance with. I love a little woman booty in my crotch every once in a while.

I hear that DC crime rates are going up. I am going to attempt not to get robbed or beat up while there. That could always ruin a weekend.

And completely off topic, but I came to work today and when I get to work, I check all the normal sites. CNN, MSNBC, and PerezHilton. However, much to my dismay, PerezHilton was blocked. I guess the pictures of Britneys vajajay were against my works policy. I would guess I would spend at least an hour on his site daily. Now I have to find something else to occupy my time. Blah and booo.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


In three days it will be the 3-month anniversary for the bf and I. We decided we would pick the first day that we hung out with each other. Which also happened to be gay pride. So we joked and thought it would be a day where it seems like all of the gay community would be celebrating our anniversary. How fitting we both thought. In my previous relationships, we would celebrate each monthly anniversary. It was an excuse to go out to a nice dinner, and be sweet to each other for an entire day. The bf told me he has never celebrated every month. I thought it was normal for couples to do this. But he said he didnt know anyone that does. But whether he wants to celebrate it or not, I will still at least buy him a card or something just to let him know I am thinking about it and i didnt forget.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Body Dismorphia

Before I moved to Pittsburgh I was going to the gym roughly 4-5 days a week. I had made a new years resolution to gain 15 lbs of muscle by years end. I had gained 7lbs and was very happy with the results thus far. Since moving here, I have lost all of that 7lbs of muscle and have returned to my original body size. However, I am starting to get the very unwanted flabby stomach. Now I am by no means fat, I am 5-10 and weight about 145. So technically it wouldnt hurt for me to gain a few. I need to get my ass to the gym. The bf has seen some pictures of me at my best physical state, and he brings it up sometimes about how good I looked then. So not only do I want to look good for myself, but look good for him too. Cause lets be honest, when you are really attracted to someone, the sex is always better.

The bf is unhappy with his body as well. He goes to the gym 5 sometimes 6 days a week. He skipped all of last week, and now complains to me about how unhappy he is with his body. He has pecs, nice stomach, muscular arms, but to him he feels fat. I think he still looks great, and I dont notice anything different anyways.

A friend of mine who is a girl, has one of the most extreme cases of body dismorphia that I have seen. I feel so bad for her and want to help her but I am not sure how to. She is not your 100lbs female. She is 5-11 and does have a few extra pounds on her, but definitely wouldn't be considered fat or anything. I feel for her because she constantly feels that people are looking at her in disgust. She refuses to wear any shirt that show her arms, so she is always in a long sleeve shirt or a jacket. We would go to bars where it would be 90 degrees inside and she would be standing there in a coat refusing to take it off. I advised her to seek counseling so hopefully she will take my advice.

I hate that everyone is their own worse critic. I wish I could learn to just be happy with the way I look. But until that day I will call myself fat and always strive to have an A+ body.

On the second date you rent a UHaul

I was at the mall yesterday buying a new pair of dress shoes because mine broke yesterday when I decided to walk from my downtown office to my home in the North Side. I guess Steve Madden shoes are not meant for long distance walking. Anyways, while at the mall with the bf, we ran into one of his friends who I have met once before. She is a very well known girl to business people in Pittsburgh and recently has had an epiphany that she is gay. She now has a girlfriend who she started to see around the same time that the bf and I started dating back in June. Much to my surprise, they are already living to together. My man and I have talked numerous times saying that we would want to wait for about a year or so before we would go so far as to move in with each other.

I moved in with an ex only after 4 months of dating. We were together for two and half years. So its not like moving in so soon is a horrible thing. I know that it is much riskier when you co-habitate, because if a breakup were to happen, someone has to move out and its a big pain in the ass. But honestly for me, I could easily see the bf everyday and enjoy it. We have basically spent the last 7 days together already and I am sad because I don't get to see him tonight. Its just hard though because I don't know if he is ready for a break from seeing me so often.

My question is, how long is an appropriate amount of time before a couple should move in together? I don't think there is an exact length of time, but shouldn't one be worried about making that type of commitment so soon. Or at least have some sort of backup plan if things go sour. I need to start thinking about this, because once I get a new job and get acclimated to it, I want to find a new place to live, and as much as I would love to live by myself, financially it isn't smart for me to do so. And what would be greater than living with the person you can't get enough of.

So as my bf's friend said*And I am probably misquoting horribly, "For Lesbians, on the second date you get the UHaul, and the third date you get the ring. For gay men, the second date you screw for the second time, and the third date you look to find someone new."

Maybe I am a lesbian then.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

CrackBerry Delight

My beloved cell phone broke 2 weekends ago. My bf actually broke it on the way up to a weekend visit in Erie, where I moved from to come here to the burgh. I didn't let him know that he was the one to break it though cause I didn't want him to feel guilty. So I played dumb once it broke and just said "that's weird, I don't know how this thing broke." I really didn't budget to have to pay for a new phone but problems come unexpectedly so I had no choice but to buy a new one. I have Verizon and really enjoy their service. I have been wanting to buy a Blackberry for quite some time now. Its convenient since I am always stuck in airports and bored. So I can just cruise the internet now while I wait. Well at least that's what I thought.

I got the phone pretty cheap. Its a $400 phone, and after I got all the discounts and rebates, I will have only paid $100 for it. Not too shabby. Maybe I had to high of expectations though, but it seems as if the internet is so limited as to what I can do that its almost not worth having. I cant check any of my emails, I cant go to Youtube or Myspace. Nothing. I have no internet at home anymore, so this was supposed to be helpful. I am paying $100 monthly for this new plan and I just feel that I am not getting what I am paying for. I am thinking about taking it back and getting something else, which I can now do thanks to their new 30 day guarantee.

I have been thinking about switching companies and getting to iPhone, and since they just dropped their prices for it, this seems like it might be a good idea. My plan will be much cheaper, almost $20 per month cheaper. Plus the phone is much cooler. So I am not sure what I am going to do yet. But or all those people that have a Crackberry, I am not sure if I am doing something wrong or what, but hopefully the phone will start to grow a little more on me.

Restaurant Review: Lucca

Every weekend the bf and I go to at least one nice fancy dinner. I enjoy fine dining and I am trying to get his tastes to be acclimated to the same type of food. So I figured since I go to these places one or more times every week, I might as well give the restaurants a little review so as maybe the two or three people that read this can try or not try a restaurant out.

This weekend we had a nice little dinner at Lucca on Craig Street in Oakland. This quaint restaurant had a nice variety of continental cuisine. We made reservations for 8:30, but they definitely we not needed as there were more tables empty then filled. Dinner started off with some Escargot. Some garlic flavored snails is always a good start to any meal. They were very well flavored and weren't dried out. I ordered the duck for my entree. The duck sat upon a slice of banana nut bread served with green beans and a raspberry wine sauce. I have ordered duck many times and never has it come sitting on a piece of bread. I thought this was sort of weird, and in fact a bad a idea. The duck and green beans made the bread soggy and almost inedible. Luckily I saved it by quickly taking off the duck and all the green beans and separating it the way it really should have been served. On a higher note, the duck was amazing. Perfectly cooked, seasoned well, and nice portions. The bf ordered some sort of meat I forget what it was. But it was also very good nonetheless. Next time I will take better notes so I can give a better accurate review.

We then ordered dessert. A chocolate souffle cake. From the time of order, it was approximately 20 minutes later that we received the cake. This in my eyes is unacceptable. Finally the host came over and asked if we needed anything, and of course, I said the cake. So shortly there after, he brought it over. For $8 it seemed sort of small and not as rich as I have had at other places. I would rate the dessert then as mediocre.

Once we received the bill, it was another 20 minutes before the waiter came back to fetch my debit card to pay for the meal. The service is definitely lacking at this restaurant, so make sure you schedule a well allocated amount of time before you have a meal here. The prices of the food were reasonable not including the dessert, and the portions were filling, and the atmosphere also good. Overall I would rate it a 7 out of 10.

The Good Life

Well it appears that I cannot write in this blog as much as I had hoped I would. I feel a sense of writers block when it comes to writing about my own life. Sure I can write about the news and what not, but just look on CNN, they will tell it better then I can, and without all the useless sarcasm.

So not much has changed for me since my last post. I am still hating my job, and still looking for a new one. I still am unhappy living with the semi-crazy cat lady and her 4 cats. But honestly other than those things, my life seems to be moving in a positive direction. For what seems like a good portion of my life, I was very depressed. Never being satisfied with anything, always wanting something better or more. But recently, I have had this feeling of being content. I have been having the greatest time with the bf. We have been spending more and more time together, and things are going wonderfully. We are in the stage where we *more me than him, can act weird and goofy around each other without worrying that the other is freaked out. So I sing loud, make off the wall comments, and just be myself. He made the comment this weekend that I "am acting weird today." Which I was. The day before while I laid in my hotel in Columbus Ohio, I decided that I don't want to continue to act "cool" and not be my complete self around him. I figured if he doesn't like the goofy, extremely weird, and sometimes annoying personality I might as well let him start to know this side of me now.

I have been hanging out with my family a lot too. To me family is very important, so when I get to hang out with any of family, I really enjoy myself. I am fortunate to have many siblings that are around my age that enjoy going out to bars and clubs on weekends. This weekend we went to Diesel and Prive'. Two of my favorite bars in the burgh. My sisters really enjoy my bf, and always make me feel comfortable when I bring him around.

I sent my mother 3 dozen roses for her birthday on September 7. She loved them and when she called me to thank me, she started crying on the phone when she told me how proud of me she is, and how she is so happy I turned out to be a good person. Hearing things like that always puts someone in a good mood. When she comes down to Pittsburgh to visit me, I am going to surprise her with mother-son massages at Spa Uptown. So I hope she visits me soon.