Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

This Closet is Lonely

In the last of the posts that two readers wanted to know about me, this one is regarding coming out to my mom. However, I really dont have just one story for this. We never really had a discussion with me telling her I was a Mo. There was no crying or awkwardness. I didnt tell her I was gay, and instead, I showed her I was.

I had my first boyfriend back in my Sophomore year of college. We met in August, one month before I started the new school year. Funny story, but one our first date at Applebees, classy I know, I was so nervous that I ended up puking in the bathroom. Isnt that fun. But anyways, we dated for about 2 and half years and i didnt want to hide him from my parents, and I wasnt yet prepared to say the words, "I'm gay", so anytime I went to visit them I would bring him with me. Whenever I would talk to my parents on the phone, I would talk about him. This was the easiest way for me to tell them without really telling them.

We broke up back in December of 2006 which was pretty rough. But because I was determined to get back on the horse after being kicked off, I started seeing someone else within a few weeks. And just as I did with my ex, I started talking about him incessantly with my parents. By this point they were completely clued into what was going on. But we still never really had a conversation about it. But they in their subtle ways let me know that I can bring home whomever I want, as long as that person makes me happy.

It wasnt really until I moved to Pittsburgh about a year and a half ago that we really started talking about it. I may have mentioned it on my blog a while back, but my mom is completely clueless about the gay community. She asked when i started dressing up in women's clothing because she thought all gay guys liked to dress up as women. She asked who is the woman and who is the man in my current relationship which i of course said my bf is the women. Just kidding. She asked when i realized I was gay, and if I was 100% positive I was gay. All the normal questions really for someone who lives in the middle of the woods.

So we are pretty open for the most part now. We talk about my relationship and I ask her for advice and what not. And because both of my parents are pretty modest I know I will never have to have any uncomfortable questions about gay sex. Who wants to explain to their mother what rimming is anyways. I dont.

She still has her concerns as any mother would. She is concerned about AIDS which when I was depressed, she asked me if I had it. She is concerned for my well being because she knows there are people out there who dont like gay people and will hurt them. Even though she voted for John McCain she doesnt realize that she was in her own small part hurting gay people. She was sad for me because she thought I would never get married or have kids, which I assured her that both would happen for me one day, even if it is not a "traditional" ceremony or wedding, and my child will either be adopted or through a surrogate.

Basically, I am an extremely lucky guy to have a mom like her. For me to have a Mom who wants to know about what it is like to be gay and wants to understand it better makes her an amazing person. Thanks Mom!

Lost

Does anyone else watch this show nowadays? I never got into the show until early this year. In fact my boyfriend has every season on DVD, so during my short 2 month unemployment stint, I watched every single episode. And let me tell you, there are a shit load of episodes to watch. But I fell in love with the show. Here is the new trailer for the upcoming season featuring an amazing new song by The Fray.

Monday, November 24, 2008

QAF=Pittsburgh


For those queers who have watched the show Queer as Folk, they should know that it is set in Pittsburgh. Where I gloriously live. However most people know that that show was actually filmed in Toronto and not in the Burgh. So does the show accurately depict gay life in Pittsburgh? Not really but sort of.

And here is why.

We do have the gay street known as Liberty Avenue. It is in the middle of downtown Pittsburgh, and has the plethora of culture such as art galleries, food, and stores. And of course, gay bars. In fact they are 6 of them on this street. This may seem like a lot, but 4 of 6 of the seven are complete dive bars. They are rarely occupied, and the people who visit these bars are generally looking for one of our finest tranny hookers who can always be found wondering up and down Liberty Ave in the late hours of the night. There is technically only 2 gay clubs in Pittsburgh. Both which suck enormous cock. There is Pegasus, which is actually located on Liberty, but is stationed in a basement of a building, and is known for its twink-tastic patrons. If you like the 18-20 crowd, popped collars, and A&F cologne, this is your place. Then we have the Pittsburgh Eagle. This place has potential, because it is in fact 4 floors. But their bad sound system, lighting system, and dj, make the place a big stinking turd. I havent visited this place in several months because most people who go here are the average age of 50. Which is not really my style. No hate though.

We do have our gay neighborhood though. Shadyside which is right outside of Pittsburgh is probably the most expensive place to live around Pittsburgh so Doctors, lawyers, and other rich people habitat here. For some reason or another though, gay people flock here as if it were the last place to sell lubricant. This is where the two hottest and most hip gays bars are. On Ellsworth Avenue, 5801 and Spin are the Friday night hot spots. I can usually be found at Spin. It is non smoking and plays the best music for a lounge.

Overall, we do have a good number of gay bars here. I can think of roughly 13-15 bars. But as I said before, most of them are hole in the walls.

Now in regards to the city being gay accepting and tolerant, well you arent going to walk down any street in broad daylight and find two guys holding hands although I have seen this happen 3 times in my neighborhood of the North Side which apparently has the 2nd highest gay occupancy in the city. But, generally people are at least tolerant. I have never heard someone yell a gay expletive or use the gay F word hatefully.

We do have one bathhouse too. It is called Club Pittsburgh. And I dont think I know anyone who goes there, because, lets face it, its a little gross. And I do judge you! Just kidding. But seriously, its a little gross.

And lastly do we have our own gay diner. Sadly, no. We do have a lesbian owned restaurant called The Square Cafe, which is awesome, but it is about 15 minutes outside of the city so I cant necessarily say it is like the one in QAF which seems to be centrally located.

So the show and the city do have their similarities, but dont come to Pittsburgh expecting to dance in a club like Babylon, unless you want to go to one our several awesome straight clubs. You can come, be comfortable, and have fun though. And if you need a place to stay, my couch is always available!

Bullied

My life has been crazy. Ever since I was born, it has been dysfunctional. I was born on June 13, 1985. It was a glorious day. My cute little hairless body was born and Jesus wept for hours. From that day on, I lived with my Mom, my brother, and my two grandparents in their home until I was 5. Sometime around there, my Mom met my stepdad. My biological father never stuck around and to this day I have only seen him once and this was when I was about 1. Within a year or so of my Mom meeting my now stepdad, they were married, and we were moving into a brand spanking new house. You see my Mom was a beautician, cutting and styling hair for Moms all over Pittsburgh, and my stepdad, was an entrepreneur. My Mom didnt have lots of money, but this guy did. He was loaded. He had 4 daughters of his own. Ages all within a few years of me and my older brother. We as kids were showered with the most ridiculous gifts. Dirt bikes, 4 wheelers, go carts, pools, Nintendo and Sega!, and even a freaking Hover Craft. Yeah, who the hell owns a hover craft? Well, i did. But this money didnt last long though, my dads business went out of business for unknown reasons, and we lost most of our toys and money.

So I moved again. We moved from a brand new house into one that was roughly 150 years old. This old Victorian style house, was sort of nice, and sort of falling apart. At this point, my parents gathered up what money they had left and dumped it into a new business venture. They didnt have much money to put new clothes on our backs or new Nike shoes on our feet so at this point we were wearing a lot of hand me downs. I started a new school, and middle school seemed to be much different than Elementary School. There were cliques, popular people, nerdy people, and outcasts. This was not something I was used to. I think I was a good looking lad. In my prepubescent years, the acne had not come yet, nor had my deepened voice, or post bowl cut hairstyle. I wasnt sure what was cool or the type of people I wanted to associate with yet. But somewhere in my first two years at this school, people started to take notice to my clothes which I would repeatedly wear every few days. They noticed that I wasnt wearing Nike or Adidas shoes, and because of this, I was harassed. Because of this, I would be cornered in the locker room and punched and pushed. I hated gym class, I wasnt at this point the most athletic guy and I would be picked last in dodge ball or basketball.

Life wasnt fun. I had my group of friends, and we all thought we were cool in our own rights. But we knew we werent the popular kids in school. Then one day, at the bus stop, I somehow got into a confrontation with another student and he reached back, swung, and punched me right in the eye. This was the same day as a field trip to a park, and needless to say, my eye hurt, and started to turn black and blue within a few hours. This would be my first black eye ever. My stepdad obviously took notice and enrolled me in some karate lessons as well as taught me how to fight. He was a black belt in karate and taught me the quick and dirty way to fight. Within a few months, I started to fight back a little harder in the locker rooms, and when it was a one on one fight, I started to beat these bullies at their own game, and actually winning the fights. Within a year, no one picked one me anymore. I started dating some girls who were considered popular and I slowly moved myself out of being a nerd. And at the peak of my popularity, I moved again.
I was in the middle of my 8th grade year when I moved to a new town and into a much smaller house. My parents were more poor than ever, and their last business failed horribly leaving them with nothing. However, I had some new found confidence, and new haircut, and some new clothes. I went into this school thinking everything would be different. And for the most part, it was. I was instantly adopted into clique with the popular kids. I tried out for some sports, which i would later have to drop out of because I had to start working to help our my parents with the bills. However, it seems like bullies are anywhere. And I had a few guys who didnt like me for whatever reasons, and just like before, I was getting into fights again. But I never gave these guys a chance to gloat about them beating me up, because they were now the ones with black eyes, and I would walk away with a sore hand. I gained a repuation soon there after, and within time, no one fucked with me. I stayed popular throughout high school, even winning the bestowed crown for Homecoming King, and was even nominated prom King. I didnt win that crown, but I guess, we cant win them all.

Friday, November 21, 2008

10 Years

Thanks to Sam, for giving me this topic to write about. I will make sure I mention all topics in posts after this one. Sam asks, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" This one is easy although perhaps not so easy to achieve.

In 10 years I hope my life is drastically different than it is now. Its crazy to think that in 10 years I will be 33 years old. God that seems so old to me. And it makes me feel so young now. Currently, my everyday routine is pretty unfulfilling. I wake up , go to my job, go to the gym, make dinner, go to bed. Not that exciting. I feel like I achieve nothing on an everyday basis. Now I understand that keeping myself healthy and loving my boyfriend are good things, but when you look at the big picture it is all so minuscule.

So to now answer the question, in 10 years I hope to be a Dad. I think this out of all of my ambitions is the one that will be the hardest to achieve. When you think of the cost, the adoption/surrogate scenarios, employment, there is a ton of work that leads up to having a baby. And of course, I can't become a Dad at such a young age without a husband by my side.

So in 10 years, I also want to be a husband. Notice I used the word husband and not partner. I hope that in 10 years, we wont just have civil unions, but full on gay marriage. And I will take advantage of this once it becomes available to us, and then I can finally have my trannylicious husband.

In 10 years, I am not sure where my career will take me because of the kid I will most likely be having. However, I do want a career that I actually love. And that supplies me with enough to cash to have a nice home, raise a child, and buy my ferosh husbear nice gifts at Christmas time. My dream job is to be a Marketing Exec. of some sort. Creating ad campaigns and working with clients to develop a marketing strategy. So something in that would be pretty awesome, even though I am not even in that line of business currently. I am not sure if my current job as a Buyer will ever overlap into marketing per say but who knows.

And lastly, in 10 years, I hope that I am still sane, and I have my life on track. I am sure I will have some tragedies thrown in between now and 2018, and I hope I can overcome those and still keep my life moving in a positive direction. Now, even if I dont have a kid, or have a husband, or have my dream job, I really hope I am content or somewhat happy. I obviously wouldnt have accomplished my goals, but hopefully there was a good reason as to why I didnt. Like I lost both my legs or went blind or something, then I wont feel to bad about it.

So thats my answer. See you in 10 years!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Blank

I have had the worst case of writers block this week. So because of this, I will leave it up to you, my faithful 5 readers, to give me topics, questions, anything, that you want me to share with all of you. And if no one wants anything, you get nothing, cause thats the point.

Ok, comment away!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Now This is a City

You must click here to see some amazing photographs of Dubai. I sort of want to live there.

Out Of Writers Block

I give you one of those stupid question answer thingys. Alright, here we go.

1. Is there anyone on your blogroll you would have sex with?
If I was single, there may be one or two

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
I definitely prefer in the afternoon. Thats when I have the most energy even though I am most horny at night.

3. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
Several times. Both while driving as well as a passenger.

4. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No. But I would! Cause I'm classy like that.

5. Shower or bath while having sex?
Both.

6. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
This is a hard one. I think I like someone in the middle. I like when they are both passive sometimes and aggressive at other times.

7. Do you love someone on your blogroll?
Nope.

8. Love or Money?
Definitely love. I'd rather have someone by my side with only $10 in my bank account than $1 million and no one spend it on.

9. Credit cards or cash?
Cash. I already have too high of credit card debt.

10. Have you ever wanted a best friend?
This is a weird question. But I cant say i have ever had a best friend for more than 4 years. I have an ever evolving door of best friends. Generally this is because of people moving elsewhere or getting all crazy on me.

11. Camping or a 5 star hotel?
Ha. This is easy. Camping to me is sleeping in a Holiday Inn. So I will have to say 5 star hotel.

12. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
On a random huge John Deere tractor that I found on a hillside that is known as Merton's Heart that overlooks one of the Universities that I was a student at. It has since then been private property and no one is allowed to go there. Wonder why?

13. Would you shave your entire body (including your head)?
I would have to have a pretty good reason. I dont have much hair anywhere anyways, cause it either stopped growing or it never grew in the first place, so it wouldnt be extremely tragic. Although it would be tragic looking.

14. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yeppers. Only to a female strip club though.

15. Ever been to a bar?
Umm...No?

16. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
Yes. Only one because I got into a fist fight.

17. Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?
Not that I can remember?! Ha.

18. Had sex in a movie theater?
No.

19. Had sex in a bathroom?
Yes. Public and Private restrooms.

20. Have you ever had sex at work?
Yes. Cause like I said before, thats how we classy girls do it.

21. Ever been to an adult store?
Yes. Only to buy dildos, lube, and dirty movies though. I have morals.

22. How many times a week do you masterbate?
Oh lord. Probably close to 10 times but that includes real sex also.

23. Have you been caught having sex?
Nope. Only whacking off.

24. Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
Probably yes. A video too. But hopefully that person wont ever show that to another living soul. I was looking not so great then.

25. Ever had sex with someone and called them by the wrong name?
I generally never say a persons name when having sex. But I may have mistaken their other name by calling them a whore instead of a dirty bitch or something. But who doesnt make that mistake.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

WTF!

What the fuck happened to my Blog list on the side of my blog! I just click on over here to see who decided to help waste my time with their new post and BOOM! Gone. This shiz better fix itself because I do not have the patience to go and try to find all the blogs I read on a daily basis.

Gosh. I hate technology.

Update. Within minutes of putting this post up, the problem has fixed itself. Sigh.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Gay SNL

Just incase you didnt catch Saturday Night Live this weekend, here were some of the funniest clips. This coudl possibly be the gayest SNL ever.

Lots of man on man kissing!


A Very Hairy Paul Rudd

Pittsburgh Prop 8 Protest

God hates hate was the sign my friend and I shared and held high during our march and protest around Oakland, where the University of Pittsburgh's main campus is. I would say close to 1,000 people at one point came to support our cause. The weather was supposed to be crappy and rainy but it turned out not to be that bad. I had such a great time being there and being with a group of people who share the same strong feelings as I do about this issue.

I tried to make as many observations as possible of the different types of people with us and also at the people who looked onward at us as we marched. Here is what I saw. First off, the group was completely diverse. Ages, race, sexual orientation, sex...everyone was different. Something else I noticed deemed a bit weird to me. Everyone I normally see at gay bars on weekends and whatnot, were not to be seen here. They were all missing. I didnt notice 1 person that I see every weekend ranting about gay marriage or gay rights, there with us to support it. This was so peculiar to me. What ever what their excuses are, I just dont understand how I literally saw not one person there that I recognized.

Perhaps even more to my surprise was all the positive feedback from the people were watching us march and protest. Onlookers gave us thumbed up and clapped as we walked by. There were no other demonstrators there to protest us, and it seemed as though overall, everyone was on our side.

After the march, we all came together and listened to people speak. It was sort of an open mic type thing, and I mustered up enough courage to go speak. I wanted to talk about Keith Olbermanns special comment he made on his show. I wanted people who had not heard it, to at least hear the overview of what I could remember. Here is what I said, "Hi Everyone!" Huge crowd all says hello back. "My name if Jeff and I want to know if anyone here has ever heard of Keith Olbermann?" Crowd goes crazy. Apparently they have. "Well, I dont know if you watched his special comment he made the other day on Prop 8, but he put into words what I think all of us feel at this moment." I am now getting ready to do my short version of his speech, when I hear from a lady in the crowd, that she has the entire transcript of the special comment. She comes forward and I hold the microphone while she relays to the crowd this amazing speech. Even though she stole my thunder, I am happy everyone got to hear Keith's statement as it rings true.

Overall I think we had a great turnout and we did what we wanted to do. I feel good about myself, that I can stand up for something I feel so strong about, and not sit around and wait for others to do so for me. I will do what i can to make sure I can get married one day.

Here are some pics from the protest. See if you can spot me.







Friday, November 14, 2008

Oohhh, Uncut Monster

I died when I saw this. And unlike Miss Jackie Beat, big ding dongs do nothing more for me than an average sizer. May you all have an amazing weekend!

Google Street With A View


I have been seeing this story all over the blogosphere as well as in national news, so I am finally speaking up. I live only a few streets away from good ol' Sampsonia Way. In case you have no idea what I am talking about, there is a project called, Street With A View, where some peeps called Google and said, "Yo, we want to stage something cool and hip on this run down street in the North Side of Pittsburgh, where this cool blogger named Jeff lives nearby, and roughly 5 people get shot a week around here, but we are gonna stage a bunch of random acts on the street, so that you can come and put it on your Street View on your site, wanna do it?" And they apparently said yes. And seriously, 4 people were shot last week in the same day in my neighborhood. Wanna come visit?

So anyways, there are some mad scientists, a marching band, sword fighting, and a rock band, as well as some other crazy nonsense. Check it out.

National Day of Protest

Tomorrow at 1:30 cities across the country will be protesting the passing of Proposition 8. If you live in Pittsburgh, please go take the nice drive to Oakland, and park your asses in Schenely Park to do your part. As a gay man, I am infuriated and so deeply saddened by this Proposition. I will be there, so should you. I will also bring my trusty camera with me to document the afternoon.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Can't Move

I started going to the gym tow days ago, and I didnt realize how much strength I had actually lost. I dropped roughly 30lbs of weight on the bench from what I was last doing at the gym. Its crazy on how fast muscle goes away within a two month period.

I tried to take it easy my first two days back because I didnt want to be incredibly sore, but it is hard to limit yourself. So of course, I am sort of miserable. I cant straighten out my arms enough to even put my arms on the top of my steering wheel. My back feels as though it has been trampled on by 10 very muscular, hairy chested, and cute, football players. Cause thats how I would imagine my back feeling if that ever happened.

But now, full steam ahead into working my ass off in the gym. I am trying to figure out what my routine will be. Its hard when you have a ton of new machines and some that are not there that I wish were. I should have all that figured out by next week though. I hate wondering around the gym looking like an idiot.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Ugh


My god this day has lasted forever. I currently have roughly an hour and half before I can leave work and head to the gym. I have the worst headache of my life, and the 4 tylenol pills I took don't seem to be helping too much other than making me fall asleep in my cubicle.

Something quite gross happened today while I was visiting a restroom. I was holding my penis taking a pee at a urinal when another man came to urinal next to mine and started to pee. No big deal right. Well, everything was fine until he let out the largest fart I have possibly ever heard. It literally rattled the floor. He says "Oops, sorry." Ok, not only did I almost die of laughter, but as I stood there completely mortified at this old guy sharting in his pants, I started to smell his rank ass air. So I am trying to push the pee out of me as fast as I could so I could get the hell outta there to return to the world of fresh air. I finish, wash my hands while trying to avoid any awkward eye contact what so ever. Accomplished.

Now dont get me wrong, I understand everyone has to pass a little gas every now and then. But not in front of a complete stranger at work. That is completely not acceptable with me. If you feel a little gassy, wait until I am gone to relieve yourself. If you are worried something might seep out, you wait!! Just sayin.

I can now never look at that man the same ever again. I feel bad for his wife. :(

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Pumping


Now I know where all of your dirty little minds went when you saw the title to this post. You are all way too predictable. But no this has nothing to do with the type of pumping you are thinking of. This has to do with pumping iron. After not going to a gym for 2 months, I have finally joined another gym. I have decided to join Gold's Gym which was just built less than a year ago in the heart of downtown Pittsburgh. Free parking, cheap fees, and a huge facility are what persuaded me.

There are so many great things about this I dont even know where to start. Somehow, I got my boyfriend to join with me. Don't ask me how, but I did. So that is amazing. I have never really went to the gym with someone other than myself, so it will be great to always have a spotter and have someone there to keep me going when i dont want to. Also at this gym, is possibly the biggest beefcake buffet I have ever seen. There is enough meat to feed an army there. Gorgeous guys everywhere! I cant wait to spot them naked in the shower then go home and do my man like real men should.

I am thrilled to get my ass back into working out. I have actually missed it. Since I lost my 10+ lbs of muscle since I stopped going, I have started to look like one of those malnourished kids you see on infomercials. And let me tell you, that is not the least bit dick hardening. So my goal is to gain 7lbs of muscle by the end of the year. And I think this is doable.

Keith Olbermann

This video is amazing.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Friday, November 7, 2008

No, Actually I Have A Boyfriend

That was my response to 2 women who confronted me as I walked into a mall to grab some lunch today.

I was holding the door for the two young ladies to come out of the mall as I was walking into it, and one of them said "Please tell us you dont have a girlfriend", and then immediately after that the other one said "You have to have a girlfriend, you are way too good looking to not have one". Being a little stunned and caught off guard a little, I had to think of something to say. "Umm, are you joking?" They proudly said "No, No, No, we are trying to find this one, *Girl 1 points to Girl 2, a boyfriend. She needs a man, BAD!" So I laugh, and look around to find 3 random strangers listening to this conversation now, and I lean and give them the bad news. "Ladies, luckily I dont have a girlfriend! Sadly enough however, I do have a boyfriend." I stood back and waited for them to throw their cigarettes at me to burn my homosexual eyes out, and instead they throw up their hands to give me a high five.

They then start telling me about their single Russian gay friend Vladimir who is very manly and muscular. They obviously know how to get my attention. And they then ask if i do threesomes. :) Sadly I dont. They ask me if I have any pictures of my boyfriend and I have a few on my phone. After I show them they both agree that he is one hot Italian Mo. They then tell me how open minded they are and how they love the gays. Sort of weird, but they then tell me that they kiss from every now and then, and then actually kiss right in front of me and in front of these other strangers who are still trying to not look like they are listening.

Long story short, they wanted me to kiss them both on the cheek and they wished me good luck with my relationship. It definitely makes a gay man feel good when women hit on them not knowing they are gay. Little things like this let me know I still got a small hint of masculinity in me. It made my day. And it doesnt hurt that they were pretty hot themselves. I could of had me some hot woman pussy tonight. Yum.

Songs of the Second

1. Brad Walsh - Control Me

2. The Killers - Human (Armin Van Buuren Remix)

3. Sunlounger feat. Zara - Lost (Chill Mix)

4. Nadia Ali - Crash and Burn

5. Jon Asher - The Noise Inside My Head

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Cake Farts

Ok, this title is a little bizarre. But its real. For an extremely NSFW, repulsive, but hilarious video, you must click here.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

And For Fun...

Me with bleached hair.

Halloween Picturama

Yes, finally I am showing some pictures from Halloween. I have more but I need to ok from my friends to put their pictures on here. So here is 3 to get ya started.


The Day After

One the day after one of the most important elections we will ever face, I am pleased with the outcome. I am pleased that Obama was able to reach into the minds and hearts of Americans and woo them enough into taking a chance. Anytime a candidate is elected, a chance is being taken. But with Obama, I believe a bigger chance is being taken. He doesn't have all the years of experience, but he spoke a good game. And now hopefully he can back up everything he said. I have faith in him, and hope that he will provide America with profound change.

With such a great victory comes great sadness however. In Arkansas, Florida, Arizona, and California, opponents of gay adoption and marriage have flooded the polls and they have imposed their christian values on everyone. Their values which are supposed to preach love and acceptance, have been distorted and now preach against tolerance and equality.

It makes me sick to think about all the gay couples that got married, and how they can now throw away the marriage licenses they were once given to show that they like every other couple, deserved to make a commitment higher than any other. In California, at this time, all of the votes are not yet tallied, so Prop 8 has not passed as of yet, but it appears that it will. California was hope for every gay teen and adult in America and across the world. It was hope that was giving every gay person a glimpse into what the USA could be one day; A country where equality is more powerful and important than ignorance and intolerance.

Voters have shown that for the time being, prejudice shall succeed. These times though, will change I am certain with every passing year. As people become better educated and gay people are shed in a brighter light, acceptance will rise. It pains me that some gay people will never see that time though.

Lets mourn our losses within the civil rights movement in GLBT culture, but lets not forget our huge victory of putting someone in the White House that will help America and will finally fight for us.

Change is coming.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Done

This morning, I decided to wake up a dreadful 10 minutes early and dragged myself to the polling station one block from my house and voted for the first time in my life. It was quick and painful just like everyone told me it would be. I waited in line for roughly 45 minutes. It would have been a much shorter wait line, but it was being run by ten 90+ year old ladies who were all wearing the thickest eye glasses I have ever seen. Much to the dismay of everyone in line, their eye glasses didn't seem as though they were working. One little lady literally had a magnifying glass that she was checking IDs with. Poor thing.

I voted. Hopefully you did as well.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Good Friend Bad Friend

As I have said in regards to my life currently, things are pretty good. Things are continuing to change for the better in every aspect of my life. I have been cutting out the bad negative things and filling it with only the positive. This also includes people in my life who I have once been friends with that I choose for one reason or another to no longer associate with. There is one person in particular who I am struggling to decide whether to cut him out of my life or not.

I have known this person for a few years now. He is 2 or 3 years older than I am and is also a big homo like myself. Overall, he is a pretty nice guy, and havent really had any issues with him. However, it only takes a moment of him being ridiculously out of line that makes me question any future for our friendship. This event happened over the summer. And not until now have I chosen to talk about it with all of you wonderful readers. Heres the story.

One night I was relaxing at my house and was actually laying in my bed naked getting ready to masturbate, when my phone rang. It was this friend whom I will call Mary. Mary called and explained that he was in the neighborhood and wanted to stop over to hang out. I agreed to let him stop over and hung up the phone. I decided against continuing to touch myself, and threw some shorts on, and opted against putting on a shirt because I rarely ever wear one at home. Some time shortly there after, Mary was at my place. We chatted as normal, and he explained that his boyfriend was at a bar down the street from my place celebrating his birthday. I questioned him as to why he isnt there celebrating with him, and he said he doesnt like his boyfriends friends that much and that was the reason for him not going. Okay. Whatever. I told him I disagreed with him not being there and told him how I would be pissed if m boyfriend did that.

Chatting is over. I walk Mary out to the door so he can leave. I give him a simple hug goodbye and he for some reason prolongs the hugs and squeezes my butt. Haha I thought. I unembrace myself from the hug and as I do this he starts to rub my crotch. Haha I thought and then soon realized that he is not joking or being funny, but seriously rubbing for a reason. I slap his hand away and ask what he is doing. He says that he is doing nothing and leans in to kiss me. And not just a peck like gay guys do to say goodbye, but a kiss like he wants to make out with me. I push back from him and he continues to come forward to kiss me. I do an uncomfortable laugh, and say a little more seriously this time "what are you doing". I continue to push him out the door, and in the midst of me shutting the door, he puts his hand on the door to prevent it from shutting, and grabs me while pushing me back into my place, and is once again grabbing my crotch and trying to kiss me. I push him off of me, and say " What the hell are you doing Mary, you have a boyfriend and its his BIRTHDAY! and I have a boyfriend!" He apologizes and finally leaves my place.

I walk back into my place completely shocked at what just happened. This literally came out of nowhere. We have been friends for all this time and he tries to pull this shit. He wasnt drinking, not on drugs *to my knowledge, and my friend just tried to kiss me on his boyfriends birthday. I immediately call one of my friends who knows Mary and tell him what happened. While I am on the phone, Mary is calling, and I choose not to take the call. I end that phone call, and then call my boyfriend and explain to him what just happened. Still shocked.

As the night went by, I really began to process everything. I am disgusted, angered, still shocked, but most of all hurt. I am hurt because Mary actually thought I was the type of guy to cheat on my own boyfriend. And that he is trying cheat on the same day as his owns boyfriends birthday. I am sad for his boyfriend that he is just trying to enjoy his birthday while unbeknown to him that Mary is trying to shove his tongue down my throat.

Mary calls me again in the morning. I was at church by myself on this summer Sunday morning, and decided to answer. Mary apologized and tried to assure me he was just kidding, and I obliged, but I knew what he did was not a joke. It was mean, cruel, and wrong in so many ways. We hung up and I knew I no longer wanted someone like that in my life.

Fast forward to now. I have received a text every once in a blue moon which I have ignored from Mary. He called me On Saturday while I was at Kennywood's Phantom Fright Nights with several of my friends, which was by the way, absolutely amazing. Anyways, I didnt answer the phone, and he left me a voice mail. I still couldnt stand the thought of hearing his voice, so I had my boyfriend listen to the voicemail. Mary, wanted to talk to me about "something" and was hoping that I will call him back to talk. Umm, no thanks.

So am I being an asshole for wanting nothing to do with him? I really dont think so. Some of my friends think I should talk to him about it and what not, but I honestly dont want to. And my friend bag is already full. I dont need any more friends at this point. Maybe if I kick someone else out, there will be room for him. But I really dont want to be friends with someone who has these type of morals. Someone who doesnt care about that fact that I have a boyfriend whom I love dearly and someone who doesnt care enough about their own boyfriend and is willing to cheat on him on his own birthday. I really feel as though I am doing what any other person would do.

I feel this is the best decision.

Voting Day

Thank god it has finally come. I have been waiting for tomorrow for a long time. Honestly, I am not worried. I probably should not be as optimistic as I am, but I really believe Obama is going to kick ass this election. Not only do I think he is going to win, but he is going to win with a double digit difference. But you know what I am worried about. Its Petty and stupid, but I am worried about the wait in line to vote. I have heard people waiting in line for up to 6 hours when voting early. I am nervous that I am going to have to wait that long. I want to do my patriotic duty, but frankly I am just way too lazy to stand in line for that long.

Something else that is sort of on-topic but not really is the Fox News website. I am angered when go to their page. The first half of the page is literally article after article trashing Obama. And not one bad thing at all about McCain. It angers me because news should be reporting both sides of a story. And I know exactly what they are doing. You see, they are scared. The conservative republicans at fox, know that Obama is continuing to lead the race. This one sided news source isnt going to make or break the election though.

Just a reminder of all the free goodies you can get if you vote: Free cup of coffee from Dunkin Donuts. Free cup of coffee from Starbucks. Free donut from Krispy Kreme. Free ice cream from Ben and Jerrys. Yay!