Friday, January 18, 2008

Song of the Second + Stuff

OneRepublic

All We Are

This song sort of hits home with me. Actually not even the whole song, but a few lines of it.

--We'll say our goodbyes you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change--

There is someone in my life right now that I really need to let go of. My ex whom broke up with me over a year ago, still has issues that we are broken up and not together. I tried to give him space so that he can completely get over the relationship that we once had, but that hasnt worked. He still holds on to the hope that one day we will be back together. I think he is afraid to fully let that hope go. Everything tells me the right thing to do is finally say goodbye to everything we had in the past and what we have now. If I did this, this would enable him to finally move on with his life they same I have done so long ago with mine. But I am too selfish to do so. The friendship that we now share, I really cherish. He is still my best friend even though the only reality our friendship sees, is over the phone. But, he is the one I turn to when I have no one else to go to.

It is unfair to both him and my boyfriend to continue this. It is just so hard to completely let go of someone who you turn to. It is unfair to my boyfriend though because he should be the only man I turn to but I am more comfortable turning to my ex in some situations. As little as this would help me, I know that my ex would benefit so much from parting ways. He can finally understand that the hope of us getting together is truely no longer a fathomable. He can finally share what he has to offer with someone else who will be very lucky to have him in their life.

As hard as it will be and as much as I dont want to do it, it does need to happen at some point. It will be very hard for both of us, but in the end, the benefits outweigh the costs. I do love him, I am no longer in love with him. I love him for everything he has done for me, the endless love he has shown me, and the fact that he always let me know that I was the most important thing in his life when we were dating. Its hard to let go of someone you love and care about. Very hard. In time I hope I can have the strength to do this. For him.

***Update***
After recieving a few emails and a few other peoples comments, I need to clarify some of this post. The reason that I need to cut off this particular friendship is not because I dont want any male friends other than my boyfriend. In fact I only have two female friends in Pittsburgh. But the reason for needing to do this, is to finally let my ex get over what we once had and finally be able to let go and move on. I would love to be able to continue our friendship, but for my ex's sake, we need to end it. Just wanted to clarify that.

1 comment:

Gay boy said...

Just because you're dating one guy, doesn't mean you can't be friends with an ex.

The person you're dating doesn't need to be you're total, absolute best friend.