Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Over the weekend the bf told me that he feels he is unable to meet my expectations. This made me think what my expectations are not only for him for for this relationship and for myself. I can easily think of the expectations I put on myself for this relationship. I expect myself to be there for him whenever he needs me no matter what. I expect to at least try to tell him how I feel if something is bothering me. I expect for both of us to be honest and not hold secrets. And I expect for us to stand up for one another when we need to. I dont think that is too much to ask. And I have expectations for him. I want him to be there for me when I need him whether that if I am having a bad day or going to an important doctors appointment. I expect him to call me out when I am being an ass or being stupid. I dont think I have a ton of expectations but I know I have a few that are very important to me. And I dont think thats a bad thing.

He claims he doesnt have any expectations for me or for our relationship. He said that anytime you have an expectation, you are basically just asking to be let down. Obviously, things are going to let you down in life. But why hold back because you dont want to be disappointed or let down. Its going to happen no matter what. But if he doesnt want to have any expectations, I would still want to know what his hopes are for us and for myself.

I think Jonathan from Lunacy's Child said it right in one of his comments on one of my posts when he said that the infatuation stage is starting to simmer away for me even though I never did feel the bf was ever in this stage with me. Now that I am stripping this infatuation stage away, I am now really asking the important questions to myself. And the most important one being is he really someone I would want to raise a family and grow old with. Right now, the answer is I think so. It is still too early to tell. But now that things have been hashed out between the two of us on sensitive topics, I think we can both continue to learn about how to make this work.

I am excited to see where this is going. I am trying to be more understanding and give him credit where credit is due. I think things can only get better from here.

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