Monday, September 8, 2008

Letter to MTV

Dear MTV,

We need to have a sit down and talk about how much you have been sucking lately. Yeah thats right, I said it. No one else will, so I have decided to be the bearer of bad news for you. OK, so I do love your scripted reality show, The Hills. But literally, everything else on your channel is just really really dumb. Have you actually ever watched "Next" or "Date My Mom". Ugh. It makes me have gas just thinking about it. These shows have some really bad writers that are making these actors scripts. Their lame punchlines arent even funny anymore. They are nauseating. But thats not the reason of this letter.

Lets be honest with each other MTV. You are definitely showing your age. Your 25Th Annual MTV Video Music Awards was on last night, and every year I am quite excited to watch the show. The last few years for you however, are quite lackluster. I will give you credit, last nights award show was not nearly as horrendous as last year when you kept showing different parties going on in several hotel rooms in the Vegas Palms Hotel. That show was by far the worst idea ever, and the person who came up with that idea, should be fired...then shot in the face...then kicked. But lets talk about the show last night.

Alright, first things first. Who the hell is Russel Brand. I know he was in the movie, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But, umm, thats it. I also know that he is supposedly a pretty big deal overseas. And that should be your first hint to leave him there. You might as well have brought me on to host, because, well, I am a pretty big deal in my own head. He may have been slightly funny although kind of obnoxious at times, I would've opted for someone a little more well known.

So now MTV, lets talk about your big winner of the night and person whom you advertised relentlessly, milking the fact that she was opening the show. Miss Britney Spears herself, whom although looked amazing, failed miserably every time she spoke. Her opening of the show, consisted of 11 seconds of hello, welcome to the MTV music Awards. Blah. Really, thats it? Boooo MTV, perhaps you could've done something a little more drab. Like had her call in on the phone to open the show from her house. Did someone just say acceptance speech. No. But that will be my segway into hers that she repeated each 3 times she won an award. "Oh, I'm speechless. I want to thank a make believe man who magically lives in the sky, my family, and most importantly, my fans. I love you." Seriously, Britney?!? Thats the best you could do. How about, yeah, you know, I had a few pretty f*&ked up years, but I am back Bitches, so suck it! That would have made me be a little more happy you were on stage. But no. Same exact crappy speech. Congrats though hun!

So overall, very very bad MTV. I would give it a D+ at best. What ever happened to the exciting shows with drama and excitement. Hopefully for the next awards show, you guys will get your act together, and be the MTV I remember years ago. Dont play it safe. You are not Fox or NBC. You are frickin MTV, dont be afraid to step on peoples toes. Afterall, thats what music is all about.

P.S. Christina Aguilera looked like a stuffed sausage in her performance outfit, but her song was amazing. Reminiscent of Goldfrapps last album though.

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