Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The Forbidden House

Its been a few months since I was at Rehoboth Beach getting into fist fights with my bfs "best friend". I am still suffering the consequences from this fight. As I said before, my bf does live with this "best friend" of his, and since the incident, I havent been allowed at his house except a few times when I was snuck in when his friend wasnt home. And I definitely use the term "friend" very very lightly.

While the friend was gone all of last week during a vacation, I was able to come over and spend the night just as I had before the fight happened. I have to say it was quite nice being able to do this again as small and unimportant as it really is in the big scheme of things. But nonetheless, I should be able to go to my bfs house when I want to. However, apparently some people cant move on. Some people are not able to grow up and act their age(36) and let the past be the past.

I feel as though the friend is too busy being immature as usual and being to caught up in blaming me for the whole incident instead of taking some responsibility for what happened. He did in fact start the physical portion of the fight, which is how it escalated in the first place. But no, instead, he is stuck being a child and not allowing me to come see my boyfriend at his own house.

I have completely gotten over the situation until last night when my boyfriend told me that I am still not going to be able to be at his house for a while. He had a conversation with his friend that he wont tell me about and basically the friend still doesnt want me there. What makes me the most mad about it, is that I dont even see the friend while I am there. We are always at complete opposite ends of this house. I am in the bfs room, and the friend is in his room playing video games and watching cartoons. There is just no reason why I cant spend the night in my boyfriends room at this point.

Last night I had several dreams about causing basically chaos for this guy. I had a dream where I slashed his tires and spray painted "faggot" on his car. Or another one where I made Craigslist ads defaming him for all of Pittsburgh to see. But I could never do those things because I would then be stooping to a level he is all to much familiar with.

I just want to continue to grow my relationship with the bf. We are at a good place right now, and his best friend is definitely getting in the way. It would be amazing if he would get out of both of our lives, so that I dont have to deal with his childish antics anymore.

I am trying to learn to just understand that this is the person he is. And there is nothing I can do about it. I need to just be ok with the fact that I cant go to my boyfriends house to watch a movie or spend the night. These are things I need to learn to deal with because otherwise it will just eat me up inside. This is a hard thing to do. But I already did it with him. I got over all of this already. The fact that it got brought up again made these feelings of hate flood my head. But I will once again, be the bigger man. Even if I dont want to.

No comments: