Monday, September 29, 2008

Leather, Wigs, and Lies, Oh My!

Well it turns out my weekend of nothing turned out to be one crazy fun weekend. It turns out all you need is one good person by your side and thats all you need to have a good time. Well that is exactly what happened this weekend. Since everyone but one of my buddies was gone this weekend, we werent sure exactly how this weekend was going to go. But starting Friday night, I knew it was going to be a good weekend.

So my friend and I watched the Presidential Debates which Obama won at no surprise. Although, I have to give props to McCain, he didnt do nearly as horrible as I would've anticipated. But we started drinking when they started talking, and lets face, to get though shit like this, you need to tip a few back. And in all seriousness, it makes it a little easier to look at John McCain's rotting face that seems to be falling off of his skull. Se we drank, we went out to the bars, I was wasted and very tired. The two didnt mix well. I almost fell asleep leaning against a table, so i figured that was my time to leave. Great. I was in bed by 1:45.

Saturday brought the most fun though. My buddy and I got together with two other guys during the day and went to Pittsburgh's leather and rubber store called the ER Room. I have never been to anything like this, so I wasnt sure exactly what to expect. Now let me state. I am not hugely into leather, or the normal type of guys that wear it if there is a type at all. Sometimes I think it can be hot, other times, well, not so much. A nice muscular young man with chest hair can look pretty good though in a harness...or sling. Nonetheless, I was curious. Well, who would have thought that you couldve found whale and horse dildos at a leather store, let alone anywhere. The owner, a middle aged overweight man, who is very into rubber, let us know that most of his customers are straight males, who go through a few whales dildos a year. He even let us is on a little secret. One of his straight male customers, has gone to the hospital on more than one occasion, because of things getting stuck and/or lost up there in his boogina. Eeek. So there I was, trying on gas masks, leather harnesses, assless chaps, and so I thought, why not try out some of the sounds! Okay, you caught me, I actually didnt try on the assless chaps. But the sounds sure were fun. :) Yuck. Sorry, no foot long metal rod is going anywhere near any hole below my waist. I have to say that this type of leather stuff definitely ages a person. While looking at myself in a harness with straps all the way down the torso and a strap that goes down into your pants with a hanging cock ring, I thought to myself, I look like I am 40. Not good. So I disrobed quickly. So I ended up buying a leather arm band thing that is worn across the bicep/tricep. See example below. Plain and elegant. Well maybe not exactly elegant, but plain.
Who's your daddy!

Later that night, my buddy and I went to a friends party where we didnt know anyone but the person that invited us. We were also the token gay boys, because, well, we were the only ones who were gay. But nonetheless everyone loved us. Somehow we all ended up singing karaoke on the tv and then out of no where I was wearing women's wigs. And let me tell you. I was beautiful! Gorgeous even. Definitely Miss America material. My face scruff and defined jaw line, would certainly earn me a spot on Americas Next Top Model. Move ova Tyra, the next star is born. So there I was in a Demi Moore wig, singing NSyncs Bye,Bye,Bye and I couldnt have been having more fun. A little drunk, and very itchy from the wig, I was excited to leave the party and go to our next rendezvous. Its a bar called Bar 11. Here is what it looked like from the outside.

Fancy hunh? And I am not even kidding. This is an actual picture.

So I felt a little awkward because wearing a nice polo and jeans, I naturally felt slightly underdressed. All joking aside, the place was pretty fun. Let me describe to you what happens here. Everyone is wearing name tags. You write on it whatever you want. Mine said "I have 9 inches". And its true. One of my friends said "I Love Scat". And he secretly does. Horrible music is playing. At one point they played "Who let the dogs out". But its corny, cheesy, and fun. When you go to the bar, you order a drink, it comes with a toy inside. I got a glow in the dark cockroach. What else comes with your drink though? A candy necklace. How raver of you Bar 11. So there I was, sporting a candy necklace, with a name tag that proclaimed my many inches of manhood, and a Pomegranate Vodka and Sprite with a glow in the dark cockroach in it. I was in heaven. But, all the drunk straight college boys were getting a little too pushy, and it was getting a little too crowded. So after an hour and a half, I bounced and went home. Once again, in bed before 2. Love it.

Sunday was good too. My buddy and I went to see Eagle Eye at the theater. I thought it was pretty good too. Definitely one of the more intense movies I have seen in a while. Although the concept was unbelievable, I would still recommend it. Later in the day, the bf called, and we decided to hang out. Which was a surprise because I didnt think I would get to see him because I figured he would be tired after driving back from DC just an hour prior. So I was pleasantly surprised to have him come over. I made dinner which consisted of overcooked Organic Wheat Penne pasta, meat flavored Ragu sauce, and baked cheesy garlic ciabatta bread. Wasnt so much a fan of the pasta, but loved the bread. After dinner we had some really good sex followed by some Desperate Housewives and some Brothers and Sisters. Followed by some fighting. Can I ever have a weekend without it. Nah, I dont think so.

So the bf told me that his best friend heard that I was cheating on him with my new best buddy. Which is completely ridiculous. That rumor was part of the drama from the previous week. It was started by either the bfs best friend and/or my buddies ex who is best friends with the other best friend. Does that make sense? Anyways, the two of them somehow concocted this story, to do nothing but start drama. And how can I prove I am not sleeping with my friend. Simple. He has blonde hair. And I dont like blond hair. And he likes older guys. And I am not old. So there.

But through the fighting last night, my bf and I came an agreeable truce. We know what we are working with, and we know what we are working towards. We are going to no longer talk about the rumors, the drama, or anyone else who tries to eff up our relationship. We are going to focus on no one but ourselves. And that is a good thing. We are once again on the same page, and both agree with the goal at hand.

So overall, my weekend was great!



Update: Now I have to say, I must have had to go back to this post like 5 times already after I had posted it and make corrections because my spelling and grammer is way messed up today. Sorry for those that read this before 12:15 on Monday. It couldnt have made sense to you.

1 comment:

Drewbert said...

9 inches?

Another post rendered worthless without pics.