Thursday, February 14, 2008

Cupid's Arrow

Yes of course I am going to do a Valentine's Day post. It is my duty as someone who is all about showing, sharing, and giving love. Valentine's Day to me however means probably something a little different than it does to most other people though. In the years of my secondary education, I dated a good amount of girls, romancing them through the several months of dating. All this time I was of course doing what most gay men do at this time, trying to change myself to try to stop thinking about the horrible little thoughts I got when looking at the high school quarterback. So each Valentines Day that I would have a valentine I would romance my girlfriend all the while thinking how great it would be if I were romancing a man. It was only two years ago that a reality like that would come true. I was dating a man who I was truly in love with. And he much like myself, were diehard romantics. This worked out well on days like this. Then he dumped me. :)

The reason today is not just like any other day to me, and its much more than just a made up holiday to spend money*What my bf thinks, is because I am getting to do the thing that I didn’t know I would be doing just a few years back. Not only was I not sure I would be dating men, but doing it in public. Taking my male companion to a restaurant full of straight wedded couples letting them all know that I am in fact...gay. This is a big deal, and it is very interesting to see just how comfortable I am doing this. Since I don’t live in a big city like New York, Chicago, or San Francisco where this sort of thing is part of the norm, myself and my boyfriend may possibly be the only gay couple at the restaurant tonight where will be dining. To me though, that doesn’t matter. What matters most to me is that I am spending it there with the one person in my life who is standing by my side through all my struggles and still loving me through all my insecurities and issues. No one else does that for me right now but him. To be able to be myself, to be gay, to be with my man, this is why Valentines Day is important to me. I don’t need the flowers, the gifts *except for chocolate covered strawberries*, but I just need to be with that one person who still continues to make my heart skip a beat every time I see him.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2 comments:

jay said...

In Pittsburgh, I doubt this will be a big deal at all. Whilst not a huge gay mecca, Pgh is very gay friendly.

Dustin said...

Gay friendly or not, it's still a big deal. It's more about being comfortable with yourself and doing it and not worrying what everyone is thinking.