At Last

Well the day has come that I have been waiting for for the past few months. There is no wedding, no anniversary, no big event. What today brings is something that I have anticipated and am ready to experience. Yes, today is the day. on the day of 1-18-08, Cloverfield is officially released and I have VIP tickets thanks to the bf to see it. Many posts ago I wrote of my slight obsession with the movie, and it has only gotten worse with each movie trailer viewing. Every time there is a new update on one of the movies viral marketing websites, it puts a smile on my face and anticipation in my head. There is a lot of buzz around this movie, and looking around the critics reviews, it is going to be a great movie.

Not only am I going to be seeing this movie, but I will for the first time be meeting my boyfriends younger brother. He is one year younger than I am, which sort of weirds our my bf. But hey, when you are a young strapping man like myself, you attract the "older" generations. He will kill me for saying that because he is in fact only 27, but still, I will throw out an age joke whenever possible for him. I am very nervous about meeting his brother. He is still not out to him, so I am only going as his "friend", unbeknown to the brother though, I will be smackin his butt and biting his nipples a few hours later. He hates his butt smacked though. Hehe.

So yeah, go see Cloverfield!

And on the 7th Month

Well today is the 7th month anniversary for the bf and I. Happy 7 hun buns!! We are not doing anything to celebrate though. He is sick and I am strapped for cash. So instead of going out to a nice fancy restaurant, we will be spending it at my house watching American Idol again. And whats for dinner you ask. I will be making Kraft Mac & Cheese and some new Turkey Hot dogs that I have never had yet. WooHoo! I am so romantic. But if anyone knows the way to my mans heart, they would know that all you need is some hot dogs and mac and cheese. Oh the things I do for love. We will not end the night with sex though. So the only thing going in his mouth will be a tablespoon of cough medicine. Closing the night by sending him on his way back home with a pat on his ass and a kick out my door.

This is completely off topic and all, but there are two things I need to mention. First, there is a new online music site I fell in love with. It is called imeem. www.imeem.com It has every song you can think of and you can create playlists and listen to music all day for free! Since the type of music I listen to isnt played on the radio, I am very limited as to when and where I can hear my type of music. So to listen to people like Tiesto, Ferry Corsten, and Armin Van Buuren, this is a great option.

Secondly, I read a book a few months ago called The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Well, it was announced that they are going to make a movie of the book, and it is going to be filmed nowhere else but the coolest city in the world.....Pittsburgh!! It is going to be starring Charlize Theron and Viggo Mortenson. If you care to know more about it, heres the link to the article.

Thats all I have for now.

It's a Tie

For the new election for the president, I have still not fully decided who I am going to vote for. It is a toss up between the blonde bombshell Hillary or the hunk of dark chocolate Obama. Found this quiz, hoping it would help sort out my woes, but it didnt do anything. Take a look.

89% Hillary Clinton
89% Barack Obama
88% John Edwards
86% Chris Dodd
81% Joe Biden
76% Bill Richardson
74% Mike Gravel
73% Dennis Kucinich
54% Rudy Giuliani
36% Tom Tancredo
35% John McCain
33% Mitt Romney
24% Mike Huckabee
18% Fred Thompson
6% Ron Paul

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Thank God!

Well another Friday has come our way. I sincerely love Fridays more then chocolate milk. I get to look forward to sleeping in and most likely having sex for the next 3 days. WooHoo! This weekend though will be one weekend that no sex will be had. I have never had a cold sore before, but I think I have one now. I think my ex boyfriend must have given me this nasty virus when I was dating him, and it has finely decided to rear its ugly head.

Let me tell you how hard it is to have a hot ass boyfriend in front of you and not be able to kiss him. It is extremely hard. So I had to settle for hugs and kisses on my now bearded cheek. Since I have the devils eyeball on my lip I knew I wouldnt be able to kiss anyone, so I decided to grow out my scruffy look into a full beard. Not one of those nasty strangly long beards, but a nice well groomed beard. Maybe I will post a picture of my new beard this weekend with a photoshopped lip so you dont have to see middle earth on my full luscious bottom lip.

Until next time kids, TGIF!

DNA Strand

I have been seeing a good amount of these personal DNA things on other peoples blogs. So I thought I would give it a whirl also. The site claims that I am a "Considerate Director". Sounds good to me. It was suprisingly accurate in the studies results. Just point your mouse over each colored block to get a better understanding of who I am. Enjoy!

Look At Me, I Am So Pretty

I have decided to start putting more pictures on my blog whatever they may be. I even grew bored of looking at it, so I decided to jazz ti up a bit. Hopefully it will allow you to look at it that much more easily.

So I came across these and just thought they were pretty funny.

Gay As A Gladiator

Last night the bf and I watched the new American Gladiators show. I just have to say that not only is the acting as horrible as a high school play, but it is also as gay as a 7 foot tall drag queen. After 10 minutes of watching Hulk Hogan amateurly get through his corny lines, I knew I couldnt stand to watch this show anymore. However, the bf seemed to enjoy, and couldnt wait to watch the "Rings" portion of the show, where one person tries to climb across rings hanging in the air while another person attempts to knock them from their grasps by kicking and pulling at them. Its a highly homoerotic act especially when they grab one another with their legs and almost scissor each other while thrusting their bodies at one another all while making manly grunting noises. Yum!

None of the actual regular warrior people are cute though. Their over used steroid bodies are bulging muscles where ever possible. Their faces sunken in from throwing up that days eaten meals. Their legs are possibly the size of my chest and arms the size of my waist. I love muscle on my men but theirs are over the top. Even on the women its quite repulsive. See what I mean.



I am not sure how long this show is going to be on, but I hope not long. I don't ever remember it being like this back in the old days when I would watch it as a child. I am sure I wasnt worried about acting skill, but I think I would have remembered it being as corny as it is now. At one point, this is what one of the people said, " I'm hungry, I want to taste blood, I am going to eat you! Grrrr!" Who.the.hell says that!?



Also if you havent quite heard yet, one of the Gladiators past has been causing some controversy. Known as Militia on the show, he was known as Alex Castro, COLT star front man who did some gay modeling and gay porn for all the little homos across the land.



So I am assuming that the viewership is going to be quite diverse for a show such as this one. Females who like big muscly men. Gay men who like big muscly men. And "straight" men who are watching because there are "women" on the show. However, they lost my viewership as soon as I heard Hulk Hogan say, "How you doin Brotherrrr!?"

The Return of the Grumpster

This weekend went pretty smoothly for me. The bf and I hung out all weekend deciding to stay in and skip the bars for 2 days. We are trying to slowly phase ourselves out of the "Scene" and focus on doing other things that don't require us both getting drunk and coming back to our houses smelling like an ash tray from being around 100 gay smokers. So we played it low this weekend.

He has noticed that I have been sort of grumpy lately and have sort of been taking it out on him. I try not to, but I am so stressed out about my job situation that it just sort of happens that way. Sometime in the near future, I am going to be shipped out for good to somewhere in the United States for my job and I don't want to go. It would be a permanent move, one of which I cannot take. That's my main reason for my job search currently. I still haven't heard back from the company I interviewed with, therefore I have basically determined that I didn't get the job. This has been weighing on my heavily, and has left me with a black cloud over my head. I know it could be worse, at least I have a job right now, but there is a chance I can be jobless for a short period of time. I applied for 4 jobs today, none of which seem to excite me, but I know right now I need to get my butt to stay in Pittsburgh. That's the ultimate goal.

Because of this, I ended up actually yelling at him and I even used the "F" word on Sunday. Which to all the people that know me, knows that I hate the word "fuck". But I used it, and apparently I used it twice during my onslaught against the bf. He didn't deserve it, but I was in a bad mood. It was all over picking out somewhere to eat lunch. Stupid argument. What he doesn't know however, that he sort of put me in a bad mood earlier that morning when he did something sort of sneaky. He was looking at a website when I walked into his room after I was done getting ready for the day, and as soon as I entered he quickly attempted to close the browser window which before he closed it, I saw. Shortly after that he made sure to clear the history and cookies from his browser. The website he was on, would normally not be a big deal if I saw him on it. But the fact that he tried to hide the fact that he was on it, makes it seem to me that obviously if he doesn't want me to see he was on it may suggest otherwise. I completely trust him and know he would never do anything to hurt me, but doing stupid stuff like that does push a few buttons in my head. I didn't bring this up to him, because I really don't feel it was a big deal, and didn't feel the need to possibly embarrass him. So I kept it to myself.

It sucked that day too, cause since he called me grumpy the previous day, I woke up in a good mood and wanted to stay in that mood for the day. Obviously that changed. So after eating at Pittsburgh's only real gay friendly restaurant, the day started to go a a little bit better. I played the most amazing XBox game ever! The bf and I have been playing alot of 2 player games on his XBox 360 and Gears of War is our new obsession. I suggest it to anyone. The graphics on this game by far beat any other game I have ever played. So try it out! :)

On Sunday we went to look at a new apt to start our day off. I found this apartment a few months ago but it was priced a little too high for my liking. They were asking $1300 a month for it, but when it was recently re listed, it was only $990 a month. And for this apartment it was a steal. The apartment was absolutely amazing. Stunning views of the entire city of Pittsburgh as well as PNC Park and Heinz Field. We even agreed that for this apartment, we would live together. But at the end of the day, neither of us can currently afford to move out of our places and come up with almost $2000 before we can move in. I just got done writing him an email that said that that its better that we dont rush into things anyways. And that I would rather move in when we are both ready and not rushing into this big step which could end badly. So yeah. Thats my weekend.

Here are pictures of the apt.

Starting with the view from the balcony!


Living Room




Dining Room


View of Balcony


Master Bathroom


Downstairs Bathroom

Songs of the Second

1. Linkin Park

Shadow of the Day

2. Janet Jackson

Feedback

3. Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown

No Air

4. Paramore

Misery Business

5. David Guetta

In Love With Myself (Benassi Mix)

Evolution

One year ago at this time I was getting dumped in a bad but necessary breakup. It was a hard time in my life because it would have been the first time in 2.5 years that I would actually be alone. I struggled with this. I still struggle with the possibility of being alone although currently I am not. This time allowed me to focus on other important things in my life. Friends, family, and most importantly myself.

My senior year at college was almost over and the last leg of an amazing journey was coming to an end. There were no more tests to be taken, no more late nights in the library doing school work, and sadly no more partying with my friends on Thursday nights. I was ready to leave college, I was not ready to pick up and leave everything and everyone I knew though. With one more month of school left and no job yet acquired, I decided to play it safe and take a job in the only city in which I was familiar. Pittsburgh. I had the option to live in DC or Chicago, but I wasn’t ready in my life to abandon absolutely everything I knew in life.

I was in a 3 month relationship with someone where I learned not to fall hard for someone when you know inside that you are going to get hurt in the end. I learned that I shouldn't wear my heart on my sleeve. People can and will take advantage of you when you are vulnerable and falling too hard too fast; friends included.

I graduated with a good GPA and a job which I would later learn to hate. I made the move to the city still unsure of my surroundings. Family lived only a few miles away but distance apparently wasn’t the only thing keeping us from being together. Selfishness and desire were the cause this.

I reconnected with old friends, made new ones, and lost some in the process. With each of these experiences I learned what I could. I took what I could from those relationships, learned a little about myself, and a little about life in general. Some people can say mean things, but they still mean well. With those friends, I will forever appreciate the friendships and life lessons I learned throughout our relationship. And I thank them for that. And I do miss them. Maybe at some point I will work up the courage to reconnect with some of them in the future.

After only a few weeks working at my current job I realized that I made a very wrong decision accepting their offer. Although it got me in Pittsburgh, it also gave me 40+ hours every week that I dread. That’s too many hours drained down the sink in the endless sea of wasted time. I have gained from this experience though. I have two new friends with whom I will continue to keep in contact with past my forgotten employment. They are amazing people, and they have allowed me to vent and laugh and make the time spent in my cubicle not so bad.

Lastly, I met the person who gives me the strength, positivity, affection, love, and the daily reminders to take my medication for my new illness that otherwise I would forget to take as my sickness slowly takes its toll on my short term memory. I couldn't imagine how different my life would be without him in it. Not only does he take up 90% of the posts in this blog, but he also fills me with hope for our future. Almost 7 months into our relationship, I think we both realize we have something we both have been searching for. Our dedication for each other and our relationship has grown with each passing day. Unlike any other relationship, he calls me out on my shit, and doesn’t let me get away with anything. I appreciate that. He still gives me butterflies every time I see him and he fills my thoughts all day long. I have love for him that makes me feel privileged to use the word and the opportunity to feel the emotion. I thank him for letting me love him as I am honored to do it every day.

As for the future, I can only hope that the things not going so well in my life make a change for the better. With persistence and consistency I know these things can change. I feel prepared to confront all of the issues I have pushed into the back of my mind and finally get them taken care of. For the first time in many years, I am excited to venture into another year walking into the light of the unknown. So I walk forward, taking slow but big steps into whatever life may throw at me.