It was a bittersweet weekend. Through the dancing and the fighting, my weekend ended both on two different levels of emotions. As I stated before I spent the entire weekend with "the boy". It was a great weekend of the both of us continuing to get to know eachother. We both agree that what we have going is a good thing, and we want to continue it. Neither of us put a label on the relationship yet, but we basically agreed that we wont be available on the market no longer. This for one excites me and makes me very happy. I am a relationship type of guy and from what I know, so is he.
So the downer to my weekend was one that was very unexpected. I called my ex, who has after our breakup has continued to be one of my best friends. We dated for 2.5 years and we still care very much about eachother. However, he is still having problems moving on from what we once shared. Which is ironic cause he was the one who broke up with me. I call him probably every other day just to call and check in, and catch up on what I am missing in Erie where I moved from. When I called he sounded sad which is pretty normal for him. However, he let me know that he cannot continue to talk to me because he is still not over our relationship. And him hearing and knowing about "the boy" was too hard for him. **Just let me note that I dont bring up "the boy", he usually asks. Throughout our entire relationship I always told him to do what ever he needed to do to be happy. His happiness to me was the most important thing in our relationship. His was put before mine or anyone elses. Still to this day I just want him to be happy, and thats only because he is an amazing person who is one of the most caring people I have ever met. So I tell him to do whatever will make him happy, as I have always told him. I told him that obviously the situation sucks for me, but if it helps him then I completely understand.
So I sit here now, 2 days after this conversation and I want to do nothing but talk with him. He was the one person I call when I am on my business trips feelings alone and depressed with my new job. Now I know that this may make it seem like I am also not over what we once had, which may partially be true, but that fact is, is that I know we werent right for eachother. In the long run it never would have worked. And he realizes that too. So to me at this point, it feels like I cannot talk to my best friend. For him it is a little different. I have been spending all day today relishing over the fact that I cannot talk to my best friend. Especially since it has been an emotional day for me overall because of other reasons. *Mostly because I am stuck in a hotel by myself watching sad TV shows on ABC.
Our friendship isnt over for now though. It is just being placed on hold. He just wants to have time away from me and my life so he can move on with his. I told him to call me when he is ready, and he agreed that he would. Ive been contemplating sending him a text message or something asking if we can talk already, but I know that would just be me being selfish. I really do miss talking to him already, I am assuming because I know I wont talk to him for quite some time and it really does kill me to know that. This does however, give me a great opportunity to focus on my life and the new people in it i.e. "the boy". This is a chance for me to let go of whatever hangups I might have with my ex and put all my attention on my future and not on my past. Hopefully the need to talk to him almost daily will slowly diminish and we can both make a positive move in the right directions, whatever direction that may be.