Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Evolution of Woof

A long time ago, a burly hairy fella decided that because of his masculine and manliness characteristics, that he would associate himself with the term "Bear". Somewhere amongst his lifetime or perhaps by another Bear that had followed in his footsteps, started using a word that I still cannot figure out if it is being used as a noun, verb, or adjective. This word is "Woof". Some of you homosexuals possibly may have heard this being thrown around at your local grocery store, in pornographic videos featuring said bears, or even at the near by florist where I hear many of these bears can be found.

I am not certain how the word Woof ever came about in the bear community, as woof is mostly associated with dogs. Perhaps during a hot S&M session where a dominant daddy was calling his sub a dirty dog or something and the sub responded by woofing like a dog. And then it just caught on during orgies and sex clubs. Who knows. We can all speculate and create our own fun scenarios.

I haven't necessarily partaken much in using the word woof, unless surrounded by bears where the word is thrown around much more loosely than in an everyday setting. I have come fond of the term though, since sprouting my affection for a nice muscle bear. However, during my recent vacation to Rehoboth Beach, I met someone who i had seen around Pittsburgh before, but had since moved away to NYC. This person, is by my terms a young bear coming into his own or at least would fit into the cub category. He is pictured in some of my photos from the beach looking snazzy with his sexy beard wearing a blue tank top. And yes boys, he is single.

Anyways, he possibly created the next step or evolution with the word woof. We see everyday words being shortened due to mouth laziness. We cut off unnecessary syllables and letters that we feel just dont need to be there. Well, young Steven has done just that, and has transformed Woof into Ooof. Well you know because the 'wah-oof' was just too much to handle. So now simply and elegantly stated 'ooof' is the next step in the woof evolution.

When the term is being used, I was advised it must be said in a very low almost grizzly and sexy way. Perhaps a small amount of flem in the back of the throat can help achieve an even better sounding Ooof. Go ahead try it.

And repeat.

One more.

See! Sounds better than Woof. As soon as I heard Steven say the word I knew I witnessed something magical. That i was in the presence of something bigger than life. I explained to young Steven that this may start a movement but I will give him credit for being this movements leader. I will just take credit for putting it out there in the world and being the spokesperson for it.

So say it with me bears and bear affectionados, Ooooof!


M&M said...

bahahaha Love it dude!

Nathan West said...

hahahaha. there is a word in NZ which similar to woof, but i am guessing its the same word. wuff!!! it means love.hahaha,eg. "me wuff you" or finds the guy/gurl hot!!

Stephen said...


Anonymous said...

good to know.

someone said the to me once. confused the hell our of me.