Today while wasting valuable work time on Facebook, I started to look through my friends profiles and pictures catching up on their lives which seem to be more fun than my own. I came across of friend of mine who is gay, but closeted, and also Republican. The Republican part really has nothing to do with this story but felt it was still noteworthy. This man is in his late 20s and refuses to tell any of his non gay friends that he is in fact gay. This friend of mine literally lives two complete separate lives.
Now this shouldn't bother me at all. This is my friends choice to live this way no matter how self-deprecating it is. And if my friend who is not ready to fuse his two lives together is not ready to do so, so be it. But there are just a few things that bother me. One is the fact that he doesn't just keep the fact that he is a homo to himself, but goes out of his way to make it look like he is straight and makes up lies along they way to make his stories seem real. Now I guess this is just another closeted Republican doing what they normally do. There was also another instance during this past summer, that involved the gay softball league we were both on. Which by the way, we ended up the Champions in our league. Woot! Anyways, our team was waiting for a field to stop being used by another league which happened to be a regular straight league. Well my friend realized that one of his coworkers was a guy that was playing on it, and he got nervous that they would see each other. So he kept his head low so no eye contact would be made, and he I remember he muttered out loud, "This is so embarrassing." I was really taken back by this comment and let him know how displeased I was in him being embarrassed to be on a team full of his gay and lesbian "friends". He then became quiet.
So back to his Facebook page, I was looking through his pictures and photo albums, and started to realize something was missing from all his hundreds of photos. I looked through a few more albums to confirm. The thing that was missing from any of his photos were his gay friends. Not ONE photo showed any of them. Some of us who he claims to be best friends with were literally scrubbed from his page. It then had hit me that he had untagged himself from the pictures taken at a dozen or so parties I had thrown at my house where he drank gallons worth of my liquor and beer, because he didn't want his straight friends wondering who the queens were in a picture on his Facebook.
This truly upsets and hurts me beyond belief. I refuse to be friends with someone who is embarrassed of acknowledging who I am in a public setting or in the non-social setting of Facebook. I played straight for too many years and refuse to do it again. I am going to have a discussion with this person to let them know how I feel about the whole situation and to end our friendship until he is able to acknowledge his gay friends.
This may be a drastic an unnecessary move on my part, but I value who I am too much to allow someone to take advantage of me like this. I will not be his friend when it is convenient for him and when his other straight friends are not around.
Do you think I am being to harsh or passing too much judgement on him? What would you do in this situation? Thoughts?