Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Wow

I got back from Rehoboth a few days ago and still recovering from the craziness that went on. It probably isnt the type of craziness that you are thinking though. Sure, I went out every night, drank too much, and had a good time. But the real craziness that I am recovering from is the type that includes getting into fights 3 nights in a row, and now trying to salvage what is left of the relationship that the bf and I now have. I wont go too much into detail, as I have told this story one too many times, and I hate to relive it all once again. So let me break it down for you.

1. I fought with the bf 2 of the nights we were on vacation. *Serious fights
2. During the fights with the bf, things got physically violent.
3. I threw and broke my cellphone which left me without it for 4 days.
4. I lost my unemployment benefits from losing the court case I had.
5. I got into a fist fight with my boyfriends best friend.

Hey, Hi, Hello! Sounds like a pretty intense week for me. And it was. One of the most intense and stressful weeks I have honestly ever had. I dont think I have ever cried so much in such a small amount of time. So where have all of these things left me. Well, honestly, I can sum up how I feel in one word. Depressed. I am depressed about how things were going for me, how things are going for me, and how things are going to be for me. I do have a glum outlook on my future right now. Things have been falling in on me for quite some time, and I dont see the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, I know I am having a pity party for myself right now, and probably nobody wants to hear it, but it is my blog, and my place to have these types of parties if I feel the need.

So what do I want to happen for myself for the future. I want three things to happen.

1. I want to find a job that I will enjoy.
2. I want my health and medical situation to finally be taken care of.
3. I want my relationship with my boyfriend to take a positive turn.

Now whats great about all of these things that I want, is that I am able to control mostly all of them to a degree. I cant necessarily make them change without other people/individuals, but I have some pull on the scenarios. I am really working hard to make them change, so hopefully, they will happen for me. I think I deserve them to, and I really need them to.

2 comments:

Jackdaw said...

Making a list of what you wanna do is one thing, but you also need a list of the steps to take to accomplish them... and a deadline.

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