Absence

I am typing this blog on my new iPhone! But the fact that I got a new phone means that I no longer have Internet on my computer becauseu blackberry Internet for my pc. Because it is a pain in the ass to type ok this thing I will be absent from blogging until I get Internet restored. Maybe by then I will also have some good news to report.

Hotness

So I came across this video after a bar from Washington, DC tried to add me on Myspace. I have never heard
of the bar before, it is called Be:Bar. But once I saw this video I cant wait to go next time I am in DC. The video is a little hardcore and dirty, but I'm a little hardcore and dirty. So here it is:

Crest

Here is my crest...



via www.scionspeak.com

Songs of The Second

Most of these songs have helped me get through the past 2 weeks. Whether I was sad, mad, or depressed and throwing pity parties for myself, its weird how much I turn to music for comfort.

1. Woodale

Keep Driving

2. Better In Time

Leona Lewis

3. Seether

Rise Above This

4. Panic At The Disco

Nine in The Afternoon

5. Gavin Rossdale

Love Remains the Same

6. Lady Gaga

Just Dance

7. Boys Like Girls

Thunder

8. Hothouse Flowers

Thing of Beauty

9. Nine Inch Nails

Everyday is Exactly the Same

10. Morgan Page

The Longest Road (Deadmau5 Remix)

11. Rihanna

Disturbia

Wow

I got back from Rehoboth a few days ago and still recovering from the craziness that went on. It probably isnt the type of craziness that you are thinking though. Sure, I went out every night, drank too much, and had a good time. But the real craziness that I am recovering from is the type that includes getting into fights 3 nights in a row, and now trying to salvage what is left of the relationship that the bf and I now have. I wont go too much into detail, as I have told this story one too many times, and I hate to relive it all once again. So let me break it down for you.

1. I fought with the bf 2 of the nights we were on vacation. *Serious fights
2. During the fights with the bf, things got physically violent.
3. I threw and broke my cellphone which left me without it for 4 days.
4. I lost my unemployment benefits from losing the court case I had.
5. I got into a fist fight with my boyfriends best friend.

Hey, Hi, Hello! Sounds like a pretty intense week for me. And it was. One of the most intense and stressful weeks I have honestly ever had. I dont think I have ever cried so much in such a small amount of time. So where have all of these things left me. Well, honestly, I can sum up how I feel in one word. Depressed. I am depressed about how things were going for me, how things are going for me, and how things are going to be for me. I do have a glum outlook on my future right now. Things have been falling in on me for quite some time, and I dont see the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, I know I am having a pity party for myself right now, and probably nobody wants to hear it, but it is my blog, and my place to have these types of parties if I feel the need.

So what do I want to happen for myself for the future. I want three things to happen.

1. I want to find a job that I will enjoy.
2. I want my health and medical situation to finally be taken care of.
3. I want my relationship with my boyfriend to take a positive turn.

Now whats great about all of these things that I want, is that I am able to control mostly all of them to a degree. I cant necessarily make them change without other people/individuals, but I have some pull on the scenarios. I am really working hard to make them change, so hopefully, they will happen for me. I think I deserve them to, and I really need them to.