Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Here You Go


Yes, I have finally decided to display a picture of myself. Anonymous blogging is now a thing of the past. So why exactly did I decide to no longer hide behind my computer screen. Well its simple. As I look on other blogs, many of them do in fact have pictures of the authors. They have pictures to go along with their stories. I want to be able to do that without having to cut myself out of a picture or blur my face out.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Leather, Wigs, and Lies, Oh My!

Well it turns out my weekend of nothing turned out to be one crazy fun weekend. It turns out all you need is one good person by your side and thats all you need to have a good time. Well that is exactly what happened this weekend. Since everyone but one of my buddies was gone this weekend, we werent sure exactly how this weekend was going to go. But starting Friday night, I knew it was going to be a good weekend.

So my friend and I watched the Presidential Debates which Obama won at no surprise. Although, I have to give props to McCain, he didnt do nearly as horrible as I would've anticipated. But we started drinking when they started talking, and lets face, to get though shit like this, you need to tip a few back. And in all seriousness, it makes it a little easier to look at John McCain's rotting face that seems to be falling off of his skull. Se we drank, we went out to the bars, I was wasted and very tired. The two didnt mix well. I almost fell asleep leaning against a table, so i figured that was my time to leave. Great. I was in bed by 1:45.

Saturday brought the most fun though. My buddy and I got together with two other guys during the day and went to Pittsburgh's leather and rubber store called the ER Room. I have never been to anything like this, so I wasnt sure exactly what to expect. Now let me state. I am not hugely into leather, or the normal type of guys that wear it if there is a type at all. Sometimes I think it can be hot, other times, well, not so much. A nice muscular young man with chest hair can look pretty good though in a harness...or sling. Nonetheless, I was curious. Well, who would have thought that you couldve found whale and horse dildos at a leather store, let alone anywhere. The owner, a middle aged overweight man, who is very into rubber, let us know that most of his customers are straight males, who go through a few whales dildos a year. He even let us is on a little secret. One of his straight male customers, has gone to the hospital on more than one occasion, because of things getting stuck and/or lost up there in his boogina. Eeek. So there I was, trying on gas masks, leather harnesses, assless chaps, and so I thought, why not try out some of the sounds! Okay, you caught me, I actually didnt try on the assless chaps. But the sounds sure were fun. :) Yuck. Sorry, no foot long metal rod is going anywhere near any hole below my waist. I have to say that this type of leather stuff definitely ages a person. While looking at myself in a harness with straps all the way down the torso and a strap that goes down into your pants with a hanging cock ring, I thought to myself, I look like I am 40. Not good. So I disrobed quickly. So I ended up buying a leather arm band thing that is worn across the bicep/tricep. See example below. Plain and elegant. Well maybe not exactly elegant, but plain.
Who's your daddy!

Later that night, my buddy and I went to a friends party where we didnt know anyone but the person that invited us. We were also the token gay boys, because, well, we were the only ones who were gay. But nonetheless everyone loved us. Somehow we all ended up singing karaoke on the tv and then out of no where I was wearing women's wigs. And let me tell you. I was beautiful! Gorgeous even. Definitely Miss America material. My face scruff and defined jaw line, would certainly earn me a spot on Americas Next Top Model. Move ova Tyra, the next star is born. So there I was in a Demi Moore wig, singing NSyncs Bye,Bye,Bye and I couldnt have been having more fun. A little drunk, and very itchy from the wig, I was excited to leave the party and go to our next rendezvous. Its a bar called Bar 11. Here is what it looked like from the outside.

Fancy hunh? And I am not even kidding. This is an actual picture.

So I felt a little awkward because wearing a nice polo and jeans, I naturally felt slightly underdressed. All joking aside, the place was pretty fun. Let me describe to you what happens here. Everyone is wearing name tags. You write on it whatever you want. Mine said "I have 9 inches". And its true. One of my friends said "I Love Scat". And he secretly does. Horrible music is playing. At one point they played "Who let the dogs out". But its corny, cheesy, and fun. When you go to the bar, you order a drink, it comes with a toy inside. I got a glow in the dark cockroach. What else comes with your drink though? A candy necklace. How raver of you Bar 11. So there I was, sporting a candy necklace, with a name tag that proclaimed my many inches of manhood, and a Pomegranate Vodka and Sprite with a glow in the dark cockroach in it. I was in heaven. But, all the drunk straight college boys were getting a little too pushy, and it was getting a little too crowded. So after an hour and a half, I bounced and went home. Once again, in bed before 2. Love it.

Sunday was good too. My buddy and I went to see Eagle Eye at the theater. I thought it was pretty good too. Definitely one of the more intense movies I have seen in a while. Although the concept was unbelievable, I would still recommend it. Later in the day, the bf called, and we decided to hang out. Which was a surprise because I didnt think I would get to see him because I figured he would be tired after driving back from DC just an hour prior. So I was pleasantly surprised to have him come over. I made dinner which consisted of overcooked Organic Wheat Penne pasta, meat flavored Ragu sauce, and baked cheesy garlic ciabatta bread. Wasnt so much a fan of the pasta, but loved the bread. After dinner we had some really good sex followed by some Desperate Housewives and some Brothers and Sisters. Followed by some fighting. Can I ever have a weekend without it. Nah, I dont think so.

So the bf told me that his best friend heard that I was cheating on him with my new best buddy. Which is completely ridiculous. That rumor was part of the drama from the previous week. It was started by either the bfs best friend and/or my buddies ex who is best friends with the other best friend. Does that make sense? Anyways, the two of them somehow concocted this story, to do nothing but start drama. And how can I prove I am not sleeping with my friend. Simple. He has blonde hair. And I dont like blond hair. And he likes older guys. And I am not old. So there.

But through the fighting last night, my bf and I came an agreeable truce. We know what we are working with, and we know what we are working towards. We are going to no longer talk about the rumors, the drama, or anyone else who tries to eff up our relationship. We are going to focus on no one but ourselves. And that is a good thing. We are once again on the same page, and both agree with the goal at hand.

So overall, my weekend was great!

Update: Now I have to say, I must have had to go back to this post like 5 times already after I had posted it and make corrections because my spelling and grammer is way messed up today. Sorry for those that read this before 12:15 on Monday. It couldnt have made sense to you.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Weekend of Nothing

My mom canceled her trip down to the Burgh. :( This makes me sad. I was so excited to see her. I guess I will just have to show her my sling and the gay bars another time. Sorry Pittsburgh gay community, you wont be graced with the most fabuloso mom ever!

As I said before, the bf wont be here either. He will be in DC with some of our friends. I would also be on that trip but his best friend is going, and is the one who planned it, so I obviously am unable to go. But I am sad that I wont see him this weekend. I look forward to weekend with him because I can spend much more time with him than on the weekdays and because I get to sleep with him. And because of my sorrows, I sort of treated him like crap yesterday. I tried not to, but I couldnt stop being grumpy. He fell asleep during Grey's Anatomy, *which I actually liked last nights episodes*, and while he was asleep I tried to get over the fact that he wont be here this weekend. And I did. I am just going to take this time to hang out with my friends and focus on having a good time with them.

But this weekend the weather is going to be not so great. Rain all weekend long. Not fun! And the last thing I want to do is stay at home all day long and sit in my room watching TV. So I am going to have to come up with some major plans.

I am out of stuff to keep rambling about. Have a great weekend!!

Thursday, September 25, 2008


Well it appears as though my mom might be coming to pay a visit to good old Pittsburgh. She only lives a few hours away, but she still never seems to make it down here enough. The reason for her visit isnt the best though. I found out a few weeks ago that my brother, whom is 2 years older then me, is leaving this Saturday to go fight in the senseless war in Iraq. So mom is coming to see him off.

While she is here though, I think I am going to introduce her to something she has never seen before. Which is....multiple gay people!! She has never seen more than two gay people at once. Which includes me, and whatever boyfriend I have at the time. And where am I going to show her more than 2 gay people? Where else, but the trusty gay bar!! I dont know if she understands that this is how she is going to spend her nights this weekend, but I told her I was going to take her out for a night on the town. And she cant expect me to take her to straight bars. Hells nah. I want her to see some giant size drag queens, the twinkiest of twinksters,and of course...leather daddies!



I think she will adjust well. She doesnt drink alcohol and I have never heard of her going to a bar, but I think this will be good for her. She can see what my culture consists of. So I am sure this will be quite eye opening for her, but lets face it, she should understand this type of stuff, and how else better to help her, then to flood her with gay culture.

And it is necessary to keep my mind on something other than the bf. He will be in DC with friends having a good time at gay bars there. So I want to keep myself occupied so i dont have to think about the good or bad stuff he may be doing.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I'm With Stupid -->

I just read an article about Joe Biden calling one of Obama's own ads "terrible", and this is just one more example of how he was a bad pick for VP. How stupid can someone be when they are tearing down their own campaign. McCain had already released a statement about Biden's response just as he should. When you have an idiot talk, idiotic things are going to come out of their mouth. Biden needs to keep his mouth closed until after election or he is going to cost Obama the campaign. Once Obama wins the election, lets hope nothing happens to him because Biden is not presidential material. Barack should have just chosen Hillary. This race would have been over and Obama would have run by a landslide. Idiots.

Frozen Ball Sac

Right now it is roughly 70 degrees outside. For those who live in places that understand temperature in Celsius, I dont know what that translates to, but it is a nice warm/hot temperature. However, in my office, it is very very cold. Like way beyond nipple hardening cold, and roughly into penis shrinking cold. I dont understand with all the technology we have how we dont have a freaking thermostat that can make it a comfortable temperature. Its never just perfect. It is always freezing or really hot. I wore a polo to work today, but I cant even show it off. Instead it is hiding under my Columbia jacket that is keeping my nipples from falling off. I am thinking about putting a roof over the top of my cubicle so that I can have my own climate control. I can stash a small electric heater in here, so that no one can control the temp, but me. I think that would work.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Rollercoaster Weekend

It never really seems a weekend can go by flawlessly. Drama always seems to find me, whether it is provoked by me or not. A lot of crazy shit happened this weekend. Let me fill all of you in.

Friday night started a trend that seemed to last all weekend. Well sort of. I wasnt planning on going out on Friday as I was exhausted and not really in the mood for the bar scene. So I invited a few friends over to my house for a game night. The night started off badly because some dramz went down with the bf. I cant go into that because I am tired of reliving it. But he ended up not coming over and instead stayed home alone at his house for all of Friday night. So game night ended up consisting of me and 4 of my other buddies. I didnt know exactly what we were gonna do, but my friend brought over "Rock Band" for XBox 360 and we played that the entire time we were at my house. I pretty much rocked out on the drums, but the vocals, well, not so much. Everyone seemed to be pretty antsy, and not too long later, we all decided to go out to the bars after all. An interesting conversation started to take place though. This conversation had to do with Cocaine. Now let me preface this with the fact that the only drugs I have ever done, were marijuana and ecstasy. Both I tried once. And thats it. However, I let it be known that I want to try coke, acid, and ecstasy all just once. And ecstasy once more. Its not because I am a drug fiend, but I am willing to try anything just once. And because I am responsible, I decided that I could handle this.

So a few friends and I were having a conversation about getting some. All of my friends whom I was with other than one of them, have all done it. And once in a blue moon, still use. Long story short, we decided that we would get some. and I at that point wanted to try, and felt ok about the situation. However, there was a lingering thought that I really wanted my boyfriend to be there, just in case anything should happen. I wanted someone there who I knew wouldnt leave me or anything and make sure I was ok. And I also wanted to know that he wouldnt be mad at me for doing it in the first place. So after going to three bars trying to find my friends dealer, he found him, and the goods were purchased. Within a few minutes, I was in the bathroom with my friend, and I was snorting coke off of my car key. Not exactly what I imagined doing during my first time, but I guess it will feel the same no matter what. Within 15 seconds, it hit me, and it was unlike any other feeling I have had. But one thing I knew was, I at least felt good. I guess that is the point though right. So later in the night, some people, were trying to start some drama with me and my one friend, but we weren't up to dealing with it, so we kept our distance as not to make the drama grow. Long story short though, Friday turned out to be a pretty good night. I stayed as responsible as I could and didnt get into any trouble. Mission accomplished.

Saturday seemed to be turning out ok, as I spent the day relaxing in a park getting some sun with some friends. That night, I was on the phone with the bf, and somehow we ended up fighting, and after we were both tired of fighting on the phone, we hung up. But, something inside of me, told me how tired of fighting I actually was. So next thing i knew, I was on the phone with him, telling him I want to break up. I said some really mean things that were said only because of how mad I was. But after a long talk which I embarrassed my self greatly and divulging a secret that no one else knows of, we decided to stay together. Looking back now, I wish I would never had said anything and kept my mouth shut, but I let my emotions get the best of me. So now I feel extremely bad about the whole situation. But this isnt the only time I made an ass of myself this weekend.

On Sunday, I mentioned to the bf that my friends and I are planning a trip to either Chicago, NYC, or DC for October or November. He asked me if he was invited and after beating around the bush, I basically told him no. He got mad and justifiably so. I explained my reasons were immature and vindictive. I told him that my reasons were because since I can no longer go on the trips with him and his best friend whom I dont get along with, I want to go on trips without him then too. And why you ask? So that he can sit at home and worry about me they same way I do when he is on trips without me. Horrible thing to say on my part. But I am an ass. I can admit this. After fighting again, and taking full responsibility for the fight, we went on with our day.

We planned on going to this outdoor rave sort of thing. At a local park, there were a few dozen djs that were going to be performing all day long at different stages around this park. It was free, and something to do so that gets us outside enjoying the beautiful weather. We were both a little hesitant about going, thinking not very many people would show up. But once we got there, we were very presently surprised with the crowd. There was free beer and lots of free food. We stayed for a few hours listening to music and talking with other people. Overall we both had a really great time. So even though we had a bad morning, the rest of our day went great.

Lesson learned from this weekend...I need to learn to shut up and really think my feelings through before opening my mouth. I let my emotions get the best of me, and this causes lots of issues and hurts people in the process. But I move on from these experiences, and learn a little about myself, and hope I dont permanently damage my relationship in the process.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Weekend Plans in Pictures

Instead of saying what my weekend will consist of, I have decided to use pictures instead.




Cho at it Again

Here is the latest Margaret Cho blo posting. Almost as funny as the previous one.

Titled "I Want to Steam up Those Glasses"

I am not voting for McCain. I hope that is obvious. I am sick of everyone saying – “He was a good soldier. He was a good soldier.”

Um yeah. He was captured.

So he was not that good.

And now with Sarah Palin at his side, they have actually become the worst ticket imaginable. The only way it could be worse would be if Satan were running with Chuck Norris as his VP. Actually, Lucifer-Norris sounds better than McCain-Palin.

But even though I would never, ever vote for Palin, I am kind of obsessed with fucking her. She is sexy and hot in a MILF/Cougar way. Like you could have that real mature, straight to the point, adult, over forty, gonna cum multiple times with a big, oversize t-shirt on and nothing else and “I don’t care what I look like cuz I am gonna bust nuts in your curl” kind of fucking with her. I want to steam up those glasses and show her what a pitbull with lipstick really needs – doggy style!

Seriously – I wanna eat her Alaskan pussy from behind. Like an Eskimo. What?! I’m just trying to keep warm!

Although you know that thing is frozen and my tongue would probably stick."

Sarah Palin Would've Named Me...

Spine Breeder Palin.

Interesting. Its definitely an exotic name although I probably would've went with something a little less interpretive.

Find out what she wouldve named you if she birthed you from her Evangelical pussy here.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Cho as my Witness

Here an in exact transcript from Magarets Cho's blog. Its amazing and so well written. I love her. The title of her latest post is "I’m a Christian, you Fuckers."

Here it is.

I’m a Christian, you Fuckers
All kinds of Christians are getting mad about my Sarah Palin comments, and it is pissing me off.

First of all – you fucking fake Christians - don’t fucking question my Christianity. I grew up in the church. My grandfather was a minister, who is with God now and talks to me in my dreams from God’s corner office. I am a former Sunday school teacher. I taught the Bible to children and showed them how to love God and invite him into their hearts. I believe in God – but I don’t fear him. God is my best friend. God is my ally. God is my boyfriend. God is my best fag. I am God’s fag hag cuz didn’t you know, God is a big fag. Serious bottom too. Butch in the streets, femme in the sheets. That is my God. God is my biggest fan. God gets me, dude.

God wants us all to just get along. He doesn’t give a shit about the profanity. The bitch fucking invented profanity. He thinks it is hilarious. He just wants you to talk to him, and he doesn’t care what you have to say. He just wants to keep the conversation going. Like Jay-Z, he just wants to love you. He just wants you to be able to make your own decisions. God is all about you and what you need. God is happy that you are gay. God made you fucking gay cuz he thinks it is awesome. God understands if you need to have an abortion. That is why he created abortion, on the 8th day. God accepts. God forgives. God loves all of us, even though some of us might have a problem with each other.

Don’t fucking question my Christianity you fucking idiot assholes. If you continue to have a problem, then talk to God about it, not me, you fucking racist homophobic misogynist fake Christian shitheads. God thinks it is funny that I swear so much. He said I could use his name in vain or whatever. He just wants me to use it. He loves me. So fuck you. And I guess he loves you too. Even though you are fake Christian assholes. If you were truly Christians, you would let gays get married, and send them fucking presents from Bed Bath and Beyond!

If you truly believed in Jesus, you would try to be like him and love us, fags and dykes and feminists all. God bless you, even you. You fucking fuckers.


I have a dilemma. It seems as of late, some of my cousins have decided to all get technologically savvy and join Myspace. Then at some point they decided to try to find their cousins *me* Myspace. Normally this wouldnt be a problem. However, no one outside of my immediate family knows that I like putting my wiener in another mans bum. Up until a few weeks ago, I proclaimed that I was gay on my page, as everyone that I was friends with already knew. But now that other family members are adding me, I have decided to not proclaim it so loud. I took off that I am gay and removed a few photos of me being slightly inappropriate.

My dilemma is, do I continue to filter out my actual life from something so stupid as Myspace, just so that my cousins dont think I am a huge homo. Or do I proclaim loud and clear that this is me, your cousin like cock, too bad so sad. I dont really care if they do know, but I didnt really love the idea of them finding out through pictures of me on the beach in my square cut swim suits. Cause lets face it, only a Mo would wear an Aussie Bum square cut swimsuit no matter how hot some guys look in them.

Song of the Second

Okay, so my music tastes have definitely seen a change in the past few years. Probably more so in the past year though thanks to the introduction of new musical genres by my bf. Here is the current song I cant stop listening to. I am going to assume that most people that would hear this would hate it, but I just love the beat. I dont know what genre this would exactly fit into, but I would call it Dark Progressive Techno. My new favorite genre. So here it is. I recommend listening to at least half of the song, as it picks up in the middle.

Radio Slave feat Danton Eeprom

Grindhouse (Dubfire Terror Planet Remix)


UPDATE: After doing some research, I found what type of music this is. It is called Deep Minimal Techno. Well there you have it kids.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Well finally after 26 hours of having no electricity in my house from the after effects of Sir Ike The Hurricane, the power has been restored to my humble abode. And all I can say is thank goodness for Chef Boyardee. I am excited to jack off to porn again and shower without the use of candles.

Yesterday the bf and I saw the movie, "Burn After Reading", starring Brad Pitt and George Clooney. Going into this movie, I have to admit, I had no idea what this movie was about. I just know it looked good, and it had good actors in it. After the movie ended though, I was pleasantly surprised on how good it was despite reading and hearing not so good reviews about it. I laughed quite a bit and the acting in the movie was a bit over the top, but still very good. I recommend the movie to people if you want a good laugh.

Lastly, I dont have much else to write about, so I will just talk about last nights episode of The Hills. And I will only mention that I am happy Audrina and Lauren decided to stay friends. And secondly, during last nights show, I mentioned to the bf who was watching it with me, that Lauren looked as though she hd a mustache in a few of the scenes. He didnt seem to agree, but then on Perez Hilton today, he mentioned it too. I have an eye for out of place face irregularities. I didnt get to watch the whole episode though because I decided to start some "adult wrestling" with the bf. A great time was had by all. The audience(the cats) even really started to get into it by cheering(meowing)loudly.

Monday, September 15, 2008

McCain's Bad Photoshoot

I came across this and thought this was extremely funny. Maybe McCain needs to stick to work with people who actually like him. Just a thought.


Just One of Them Days

Its a Monday. I hate Mondays. I hate this one even more than usual. Well since you asked, I'll tell you why. My power went out at 7 pm last night, and I woke up and it still wasnt on. So you know what I did last night while my electricity was out. Absolutely nothing. I sat in the dark and stared into my quiet abyss I call my room. I called a few people to help pass the time, but still, I was bored out of my mind, and missing the Steeler game. Which we won by the way I found out. Sorry Cleveland, you still suck! Then my phone went dead. This caused me some anxiety because I use my phone as my alarm clock, and now that it was dead, I would have nothing to wake me up the next morning. Before it went dead, I planned to stay with my sister who lives 30-40 minutes away because certain somebodies never invited me to stay with them when they only live 10 minutes away. But I wont say his name. But before I was able to leave for my sisters, I fell asleep. And somehow, I woke up and it was 10 minutes before my alarm would normally go off. I was saved. And awake on time.

But this is not One of Them Days to which I am referring to. No, I am referring to yesterday. Yes, it was a beautiful Sunday day, and I took full advantage of the beautiful weather. The bf and I had started off having a rough weekend, getting into arguments, so I was not too happy with the way my weekend was going. But, Sunday changed everything. I suggested we go hiking in one of the parks that surround Pittsburgh. And that we did. So after I made a gourmet frozen pizza to fill the bellies of myself and the bf, we left to feel rugged and manly however being wary not to destroy our beautiful french tip manicures. That was a joke. :) We onnly get regular manicures.

The temperature was a little warmer than I would have preferred, but it was still tolerable. We must have hiked for at least 3-4 miles throughout the day and for me, it was such a great time. To breathe in the fresh air, to be in the woods which are so peaceful, and to have great conversation with the person you love, makes for an amazing day. It was nice being away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and to get out and enjoy each other. For me it was one of them days that remind me why I work so hard at our relationship. We have our bad days, many more than we both would aspire to have, but when we have good days like we did yesterday, they are so good that it makes all this worth it. Even though he cut our day short together, and even though I sat in complete darkness for 4 hours, I still went to sleep feeling satisfied, and feeling good about my day.

What more can a guy ask for when he falls asleep. Well other than falling asleep next to someone you love.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

Old Habits Never Die

I hope thats not true.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Gina Gershon as Mrs. Palin

I know I know, I have been posting more videos than Pamela Anderson, but I just cant help it. There are so many good ones. This one though, is quite ingenious...

See more Gina Gershon videos at Funny or Die

7 Years Ago

7 years ago today, marks the anniversary of a very bad day for the United States. I went to bed last night knowing I would wake up to tributes on television and blog posts about that horrible day. I feel very somber and sad today every time I think about what people went through. What happened that day never really affected me directly. And no comparison can be made to the experience to what people in NYC felt that day either. However, we all learn to move on in our own ways, trying not relive those horrific moments when we heard what happened and watched it on the news, or actually seeing in person those two magnificent towers falling to the ground.

It makes me well up with tears each time I think about all the people gone, all the families that lost loved ones, and what happened in the few years after that regarding the war on the hunt for the man who orchestrated it all. Its amazing how a small group of people can affect so many others with their evil. But I guess thats just how the world works.

So today, I will sit and think about that day that never seemed to end. My experience is unlike yours. And yours is unlike any others. I will sit and cherish the fact that I am alive, my family is alive, and my friends are alive. And I will sit and think about the people who were not so lucky.

Thats how I will spend this day.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

One Day...

Here is a clip from Ellen and Portia's wedding.

Beautiful. Inspiring. Real.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Jesus Loves Prada!

The Forbidden House

Its been a few months since I was at Rehoboth Beach getting into fist fights with my bfs "best friend". I am still suffering the consequences from this fight. As I said before, my bf does live with this "best friend" of his, and since the incident, I havent been allowed at his house except a few times when I was snuck in when his friend wasnt home. And I definitely use the term "friend" very very lightly.

While the friend was gone all of last week during a vacation, I was able to come over and spend the night just as I had before the fight happened. I have to say it was quite nice being able to do this again as small and unimportant as it really is in the big scheme of things. But nonetheless, I should be able to go to my bfs house when I want to. However, apparently some people cant move on. Some people are not able to grow up and act their age(36) and let the past be the past.

I feel as though the friend is too busy being immature as usual and being to caught up in blaming me for the whole incident instead of taking some responsibility for what happened. He did in fact start the physical portion of the fight, which is how it escalated in the first place. But no, instead, he is stuck being a child and not allowing me to come see my boyfriend at his own house.

I have completely gotten over the situation until last night when my boyfriend told me that I am still not going to be able to be at his house for a while. He had a conversation with his friend that he wont tell me about and basically the friend still doesnt want me there. What makes me the most mad about it, is that I dont even see the friend while I am there. We are always at complete opposite ends of this house. I am in the bfs room, and the friend is in his room playing video games and watching cartoons. There is just no reason why I cant spend the night in my boyfriends room at this point.

Last night I had several dreams about causing basically chaos for this guy. I had a dream where I slashed his tires and spray painted "faggot" on his car. Or another one where I made Craigslist ads defaming him for all of Pittsburgh to see. But I could never do those things because I would then be stooping to a level he is all to much familiar with.

I just want to continue to grow my relationship with the bf. We are at a good place right now, and his best friend is definitely getting in the way. It would be amazing if he would get out of both of our lives, so that I dont have to deal with his childish antics anymore.

I am trying to learn to just understand that this is the person he is. And there is nothing I can do about it. I need to just be ok with the fact that I cant go to my boyfriends house to watch a movie or spend the night. These are things I need to learn to deal with because otherwise it will just eat me up inside. This is a hard thing to do. But I already did it with him. I got over all of this already. The fact that it got brought up again made these feelings of hate flood my head. But I will once again, be the bigger man. Even if I dont want to.

Monday, September 8, 2008

My Uncle the Tranny

This title has caught your interest I am sure. :) But yes, the title is relevant to the story. So before the 2 hours of boredom during the VMAs, I had the most weird conversation with my mum. Turns out my uncle whom has lived by himself since before I was born, is literally a hot tranny mess. I say that with love though so its ok. Apparently, my uncle who is in his 60s, wants to be a woman. And probably 20 years ago, started the process to begin transition into womanhood. He began to talk to a therapist and even started to take hormones to turn his man parts into nasty woman parts.

However, during this process, my family found out. Who I must tell you are all strict Catholics. This obviously, did not go over very well with them. Even my mom told him that he wouldnt be able to see my older brother or I if he continued this "lifestyle". It was very hard for me to hear what my mother was saying. But I tried to understand this was 20 years ago, and people have a very different mind frame then. Although, she is a very sheltered woman, and if it wasnt for me, would probably still think that way. So he ended up not going through with the change and continues to live an unhappy life.

I know that even now, my uncle does "dress up" and probably behind closed doors in his house, lives completely as a woman. And when he walks out of his house, he is back to being a man. I dont completely understand the whole transgendered thing, but I am of course accepting because of my own disgusting homo way of life. :)

I tried to coach my mom into having a talk with him, and told her she should try to be accepting herself and inform herself of transgendered people. I asked her how she would feel about seeing him dressed as a woman and she said she would be freaked out. I expected this response as it would be hard to see my brother dressed as a woman. But told her that she should think about how he is completely alone and has no one to talk to in the family about who he is.

Long story short, she wants to know more about it, and asked me to send her some information and books on GLBT people. Because she still doesnt even know that much about gay life either. She actually asked me who was the woman in my relationship with the bf. I laughed of course. It means a lot to me that she wants to know and understand the different lives that we gay and transgendered people live. I suggested to her writing my uncle a note, and explaining to him that she does want to get an understanding of it. She told me that I should also write him a letter, explaining to him that I am gay as well, so that he maybe can confide in me. I think I will start to write that letter this week.

Its interesting the secrets that a family can hold. It makes me sad to know that my uncle who is in his 60s, lives his life in complete secrecy, and that my whole family shuns him for wanting to be the way he was meant to be. I feel extremely fortunate that I do not have to live my entire life this way.

Letter to MTV

Dear MTV,

We need to have a sit down and talk about how much you have been sucking lately. Yeah thats right, I said it. No one else will, so I have decided to be the bearer of bad news for you. OK, so I do love your scripted reality show, The Hills. But literally, everything else on your channel is just really really dumb. Have you actually ever watched "Next" or "Date My Mom". Ugh. It makes me have gas just thinking about it. These shows have some really bad writers that are making these actors scripts. Their lame punchlines arent even funny anymore. They are nauseating. But thats not the reason of this letter.

Lets be honest with each other MTV. You are definitely showing your age. Your 25Th Annual MTV Video Music Awards was on last night, and every year I am quite excited to watch the show. The last few years for you however, are quite lackluster. I will give you credit, last nights award show was not nearly as horrendous as last year when you kept showing different parties going on in several hotel rooms in the Vegas Palms Hotel. That show was by far the worst idea ever, and the person who came up with that idea, should be fired...then shot in the face...then kicked. But lets talk about the show last night.

Alright, first things first. Who the hell is Russel Brand. I know he was in the movie, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But, umm, thats it. I also know that he is supposedly a pretty big deal overseas. And that should be your first hint to leave him there. You might as well have brought me on to host, because, well, I am a pretty big deal in my own head. He may have been slightly funny although kind of obnoxious at times, I would've opted for someone a little more well known.

So now MTV, lets talk about your big winner of the night and person whom you advertised relentlessly, milking the fact that she was opening the show. Miss Britney Spears herself, whom although looked amazing, failed miserably every time she spoke. Her opening of the show, consisted of 11 seconds of hello, welcome to the MTV music Awards. Blah. Really, thats it? Boooo MTV, perhaps you could've done something a little more drab. Like had her call in on the phone to open the show from her house. Did someone just say acceptance speech. No. But that will be my segway into hers that she repeated each 3 times she won an award. "Oh, I'm speechless. I want to thank a make believe man who magically lives in the sky, my family, and most importantly, my fans. I love you." Seriously, Britney?!? Thats the best you could do. How about, yeah, you know, I had a few pretty f*&ked up years, but I am back Bitches, so suck it! That would have made me be a little more happy you were on stage. But no. Same exact crappy speech. Congrats though hun!

So overall, very very bad MTV. I would give it a D+ at best. What ever happened to the exciting shows with drama and excitement. Hopefully for the next awards show, you guys will get your act together, and be the MTV I remember years ago. Dont play it safe. You are not Fox or NBC. You are frickin MTV, dont be afraid to step on peoples toes. Afterall, thats what music is all about.

P.S. Christina Aguilera looked like a stuffed sausage in her performance outfit, but her song was amazing. Reminiscent of Goldfrapps last album though.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Songs of the Second

1. Let It Rock

Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne

2. Phoria (Elevation Remix)


3. No More Alone

Giuseppe Ottaviani

4. Something Is Shaking

Dino Fights Amnesia

5. Don't Look Behind You

Seth Hutton


Wow, did anyone watch John McCain's speech last night. Boy was that the most frickin boring speech I have ever heard. It was interesting to compare speeches at least on a linguistic scale. Obama and Hillary made incredibly well written and spoken speeches which were made for presidential nominees. However, McCain and Palin's speeches lacked that professional and powerful overtone. Sure, Palin made me laugh a few times, and kept me watching, but McCain literally put me to sleep. He almost looked uncomfortable on stage giving his speech because he couldnt look away from his prompter for more than two seconds or else he would mess up his next sentence.

And I have to say, if I have to hear him talk about his time in the military and how he was a POW, I am going to puke. That part of his life has no relevance to the presidency in my eyes. Sure, I am grateful for what he did, but it makes him no different a candidate than anyone else.

Lastly, obviously some people in my life cannot get over the fact that Hillary lost. They dont want to vote for McCain or Obama for various reasons. I just think if you were going to vote for Hillary, it just makes sense now to vote for Obama. Some people claim that he is making empty promises or that he has no experience. This is our opportunity to take a chance, and to give him a chance in return. No one can claim that he is making empty promises like every other politician because to my knowledge, he has never been President yet. We need to have faith in him that he will carry out his promises, and actually do what he says he is going to do. We need to give him the chance though so he can at least try.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Republicans Hate Us!

Taken directly from fellow blogger Joe.My.God.

From the GOP's approved 2008 convention platform: "We consider discrimination based on sex, race, age, religion, creed, disability, or national origin to be immoral." Who's missing from that list? Oh, right, we are. The GOP says it right there: discrimination against gays IS NOT IMMORAL.
Personnel policies

The all-volunteer force has been a success. We oppose reinstituting the draft, whether directly or through compulsory national service. We support the advancement of women in the military and their exemption from ground combat units. Military priorities and mission must determine personnel policies. Esprit and cohesion are necessary for military effectiveness and success on the battlefield. To protect our servicemen and women and ensure that America's Armed Forces remain the best in the world, we affirm the timelessness of those values, the benefits of traditional military culture, and the incompatibility of homosexuality with military service.
On marriage equality:
Preserving Traditional Marriage

Because our children's future is best preserved within the traditional understanding of marriage, we call for a constitutional amendment that fully protects marriage as a union of a man and a woman, so that judges cannot make other arrangements equivalent to it. In the absence of a national amendment, we support the right of the people of the various states to affirm traditional marriage through state initiatives.

Republicans have been at the forefront of protecting traditional marriage laws, both in the states and in Congress. A Republican Congress enacted the Defense of Marriage Act, affirming the right of states not to recognize same-sex "marriages" licensed in other states. Unbelievably, the Democratic Party has now pledged to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, which would subject every state to the redefinition of marriage by a judge without ever allowing the people to vote on the matter. We also urge Congress to use its Article III, Section 2 power to prevent activist federal judges from imposing upon the rest of the nation the judicial activism in Massachusetts and California. We also encourage states to review their marriage and divorce laws in order to strengthen marriage. As the family is our basic unit of society, we oppose initiatives to erode parental rights.


The bf and I got back from my way too short 4 day vacation in Erie PA yesterday, and I have to say, overall it went pretty well. There were no big fights, the weather was beautiful, and we both walked away with darker tans than we initially arrived with. We spent everyday we were there on the beach, soaking up some sun which left us pretty drained for the rest of the day. It was great spending more than a few hours at a time with the bf. I think we both enjoyed my friends company as well as the company of just one another.

I have to be honest though. The best time I had throughout the whole thing was when we were back in Pittsburgh relaxing at his house. He must have been in a weird mood, because he was extremely affectionate. Which is not really his thing. It is always nice to receive this kind of attention from him. It was in fact such a great night that when it was time for me to go, I really didnt want the night to end and didnt want to leave. On my ride home, I couldnt help but feel like I did when we first started seeing each other.

This is a good thing.