Questioning Why?

Oh how the world would be a better place if everyone loved one another, always did the right thing, and truly cared about another persons circumstance. This world is something that is inconceivable to most because well most of those types of people do not live in the one we occupy. Most people are greedy, cold hearted, sneaky liars. Sometimes you encounter these people on a daily basis and never know what type of people they are. Sometimes you may be friends with these people. And sometimes you live with these people. In my case, it is the later of the 2.

I should’ve seen it from the very beginning. There were so many signs of something just not right about the roommate I decided to share an apartment with. She had previous roommates furniture, clothing, and electronics sprinkled throughout our living space. Excuses were given as to why they were there, however, it was known that each of these old roommates did not leave happily. Something happened that made them want to leave. But, she seemed so nice so surely it couldn’t be the person who I just signed an agreement to live with. She claimed to be clean, timely with bills, and getting rid of 2 out of the 4 pets she had. However, I would find all of this to be quite a front for the person I grew to know. Even without knowing truly the person she was until after I too left.

You have all heard the stories about my previous roommate. I do not need to go back and relive those with you. If you don’t know those stories, read through the posts and one will spring up here and there. Quite disillusioned with hope of something changing during my time with here in our apartment, I stayed. I loved the location, style, and affordability of this place where I lived for almost 2 full years. It had its ups and downs but any apartment does. As do the people who habitat it.

However, at some point people show their true dark colors. They show that they in fact do not care. They rely on excuses to get them through the rough patches or mishaps. Some probably made up, some possibly true. But excuses are the foundations for disaster. Too many excuses pile up and you find yourself not being able to find anymore. When this happens, there is nothing else you can do but hide and relinquish all contact with those who are affected by your sloppiness. If I learned anything during my time in college and in my professional life, it is to never make excuses. Be honest and take the heat. And do whatever you can to make sure it never happens again. Otherwise you will be alone when everyone is tired of hearing excuse after excuse.

Without getting too much into detail, my situation with my previous roommate has gone from hospitable, to bad, to horrible. With promise after promise of receiving a large amount of money owed to me, I now have not one penny in my pocket that was due to me yesterday March 31, 2009. It is no small chunk of change either. This was money that was needed to pay my bills, and bills that the both of us had acquired to heat and power our apartment. However, despite knowing that, she would search for an excuse not to give me the money. She found one. Not a good one but I am sure she was trying to come up with one for days. And she took it and ran with it. All the way to the bank with the money that is rightfully owed to me.

And you know what, its not even the money that bothers me the most. It’s the fact that she knows I really did need it. I was relying on this money so that I too can move forward with my life and not have to look back with any grudges. And all I got were empty promises and excuses. I tried to be fair, giving her the benefit of the doubt. I tried to give her as much time as possible to be able to pay me back when she could. I tried to do the right thing. As I always do. And it sucks when you need them for once to pay it forward that they cannot deliver. I knew what to expect from her, however, I never thought this was the way it would end. I know I am a good person. I really am. I sometimes wonder if she feels the same about herself; if she feels as though she is justified with every excuse and every empty promise, even though it is really affecting other people. I honestly don’t know how I could sleep at night leaving someone out in the cold knowing they were relying on me so much. What bothers me most is that she is actually capable of doing something like this to someone she has grown to know for almost 2 years. And she probably doesn’t even flinch when she thinks about it.

I tried to take every preempted precaution I could. I got things all signed or documented in some way. However, none of it made a difference. I now have been preparing the next stage in this battle. Good against evil if you will. But I have made sure all my T’s are crossed and I’s are dotted. I know that in the very end of this, I will come out on top. And if I play my cards right, come out ahead. I am seeking legal advice, to which I have already put much of it into effect. I have a few more steps to take and the next stage is quickly approaching. She is getting one last chance before it gets taken to the next level, and I hope for both of our sakes, that she finds it in herself to do the right thing. And that was all I basically asked of her from the beginning.

My very clear message to her is just this. If you are reading this blog, as you occasionally do, do the right thing. I am not the only one who suffers from your negligence. My amazing boyfriend suffers. Or the people who I have to borrow money from to make up from what you were supposed to give me. People who should have nothing to do with this, now are involved because of you. I have apologized for my mistakes with you and have sincerely meant each apology. I told you I don’t want to hurt you or ever have. I told you I have been fair and good to you from the beginning. I just ask the same in return. As a human being we all deserve that. Find it in your heart to do the right thing, the fair thing, the just thing. The Golden Rule almost always applies, “Do onto others as you would want them to do to onto you.” That’s what this is all about. That is how I try to live my daily life. I hope you can do the same. Even if it is just this once. It would mean the world to me and relieve huge amounts of stress from my shoulders. Return the favor and be a good person. That is all I can ask for.