I Do

It is known that I want to get married, have kids, own the house with the white picket fence. It is something I long for and will help my endless quest to the finish all the stages in Maslows Hierarchy. I think my self fulfillment and self accualization will come only when I have all of those things. Most likely coming after the birth of my own biological child through some sort of sorrogate mother.

My cube buddy at work is getting married at the end of this coming summer and was showing me pictures of the photographer he has just chosen. The photographer was good, but definitely not worth the $6000 he is paying her. But nonetheless good. While sorting through these pictures on her website, I began to think of what my wedding/commitment ceremony will be like.

My gay genes really kick in when it comes to my ideal wedding. I want the big wedding with all my friends and family there. I want the cake, the flowers and candles, the tuxedos, the music, and the dancing. Only time will tell if my current boyfriend is The One. As I said before, I have his permission to ask him for his hand in marriage after 2 years of dating if things are going the way they need to be. I would wait til around 3 years before I do that though. *I decided yesterday how I will propose, and its great!*

So with all these things running through my head yesterday, I brought it up to the bf while cooking dinner at his house last night. After talking about it for only a few minutes, it was clear that we had two very different ideas and views of what our individual ceremonies would be like. He wants something small, unformal, nothing too mushy or corny. He didnt want tuxedos, the slow romantic music to dance to, or floral arrangements. We agreed on candles instead of flowers. :) He doesnt want a traditional cermony because he feels that our gay relationship isnt traditional. Weddings are for straight people. Whereas I feel as if who cares if they are built around the commitment of two straight people, a male and a female. We can alter that cermony to fit us, two men in love wanting to share our love with our family and friends.

If the time comes when we finally decide to "seal the deal", there are definitely some arguments that are waiting around the corner. Lots of compromises are going to have to be made. I wont budge on the tuxedos though. He would look way too handsome to pass that up. The big wedding is my ideal, but as long as I get to make that extrordinary commitment to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, thats all that really matters. Because in the end, its the love that we both share for one another. Not the music that is playing, not all of our friends or families approval, its our promise for eachother that matters most. And thats what I look forward to the more than anything.

On a completely different topic, this is my 100th post! It took me about 5 months to get here, but I got here. Thanks to everyone for their comments and emails, I appreciate it. I look forward to continue to document my life and its struggles. To 100 more!